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Having Issues with My Father
I am having some issues with my father. For example, I am planning a trip to Monterey and San Jose for my next birthday. While I am there, I plan to visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium and the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum. For example, for one of our disagreements, I would like to have lunch at a nearby sit-down restaurant in either Monterey, Pacific Grove, Pebble Beach, or Carmel. For example, I suggested having lunch at Roy’s in Pebble Beach on my birthday, but my father is against the idea. I think it is because a sit-down restaurant will slow us down. Plus Roy’s can have slow service, but I have eaten there twice and both visits went fairly quickly. My father would prefer to have lunch at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I have had some negative experiences with cafeteria food, but my cousin and his wife had lunch at the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s cafeteria a couple years ago and they enjoyed it, so it might be worth a try. For another disagreement, my father will not let me invite my former neighbors from San Jose (who now live in Pebble Beach), a former classmate of mine who lives in Monterey, and a friend of mine who lives in San Jose. He says that he does not want to invite my former neighbors because they are his friends and not mine. I would like to see these people again because I used to see them all the time when I was younger, but I am not sure if that will ever happen. He did not give me a reason for not allowing me to invite my friend in Monterey, but my mother says that she finds him to be an annoying person. I also would like to invite a friend of mine who lives in San Jose, but his sister’s birthday is two days after mine, so she may want to celebrate her birthday that weekend. In 2014, I invited this friend of mine to come to my birthday dinner, but he could not go because he and his family went to Las Vegas for his sister’s twenty-first birthday. Another conflict is that his aunt’s birthday is the same day as mine and her next birthday is going to be her sixtieth birthday. We are also having a disagreement about my birthday dinner. For example, I originally wanted to go to Teske’s Germania for my birthday dinner, but I am now thinking Straits or Rosie McCann’s because my father went to Straits for his birthday dinner and because my birthday is the day before Saint Patrick’s Day, I may want to have corned beef and cabbage for dinner on my birthday. However, a friend of mine and her boyfriend will be joining me for dinner that night. My friend dislikes Santana Row, but it is closer to her boyfriend’s house in Santa Clara than Teske’s Germania. Plus Teske’s Germania has a rule against using cell phones in the dining room and an average dinner at the restaurant can last up to two-and-a-half hours. I have tried telling my father the pros and cons about each restaurant, but he always tells me to stick with Teske’s Germania. For my next issue, I originally wanted to stop in Santa Cruz on the way to San Jose, but my parents and a friend of mine I might be bringing on the trip want to skip Santa Cruz so we can spend more time in Monterey. I originally wanted to do Mystery Spot and/or Exit Santa Cruz, but my parents do not want to do neither of them because they find both places to be confining. I also wanted to visit this French linens store in Capitola named Petite Provence, but my parents are against it. The reasons why are because although my mother was once into decorating her interiors with French country decorations, she is no longer interested in it. Another reason why my parents do not want to go is because the last time we went shopping there, my parents got a call from the nursing home my late grandmother was living at at the time saying that she was having high anxiety and she died the following morning. So it brings back bad memories for my parents. For my final two issues, I would like to visit the Wings of History Museum in San Martin, but my father does not want to go because he went there once before, but I have never seen it. I would also like to attend a 3:30 PM Planetarium show at the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum, but my father does not want to do it because we would have to leave Monterey at 2:00 PM in order to make it on time for the show and he feels like we are rushing. I would like to see the show because it sounds interesting and it is narrated by Robert Redford, but it looks like it may not happen. I hope you can help me resolve these issues with my father.
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You are an adult. I don't know if you're in college only, college and working or plain old working. Why I wonder is this: It depends on who is paying for this trip. You may consider it your Birthday present in which case it is reasonable to get what you want. However Dad probably doesn't see this trip as your present if He's paying for the whole thing. That's an expensive present considering everything like gasoline, parking fees, meals, entry for shows. If Dad is paying for everything, then he gets to decide what he is willing to pay for and what he won't. If you have your own money, you might have a conversation about things you will cover/pay for. See if that helps. If you already are planning to spend your own money for the whole trip, and Dad is only transportation and company, then you may want to rethink how to do this without Dad in the equation. It's quite simple dear, no adult can be convinced to do something they don't want to do and its worse if the person trying to convince them is their child, adult or not.
I hope you have a drivers license. Even if you don't have your own car, you can rent one for the duration but must be able to pay the rental and insurance for the days you need it. Check first and see which of the friends you want to see for your birthday can afford to attend and are free those days. If it ends up just you and a one girlfriend, you'll probably have a much more fun time than hanging out with a reluctant Dad. Lets say you can't drive, no license. What about the friend? Can she come get you first and then go back. Or these neighbors...perhaps they want to go and could be your ride.
Or, you might go for two birthday celebrations. Its fairly common when you get one party where just your work friends are throwing it for you and a separate one for family and childhood friends.
You could go to Monterey on Dads terms and also plan your own party for a separate date. If living with the parents, they may not want a party in their home, so you'd have to see who would be able to allow you to have one at their place, or rent a room. Local libraries or community centers have rooms for rent. Library is cheaper and I know long in the past you simply had to reserve the time, no cost but you;d have to check into that.
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