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humorist-workshop
Problem with my eyes now teeth (how am I going to continue living?)
21/male from Nigeria... since I was 10 years old i have a problem with my eyes they are constantly sensitive to light or anything bright.it just happened suddenly it's not like I hurt my eyes or anything.... I have gone see an eye doctor and he says it is caused by a refraction and he prescribed transition glasses.. I got the glasses but it did not help at all so I just stopped using it. Am embarrassed to say this but I have not always practiced good oral hygiene,I brush my teeth once a day but not with the right technique because I had tatar and my gums would bleed when I brush.... so three years ago I discovered that four of my front up teeth and four of my down front teeth are loose/shaking so I went to a general hospital to see a dentist and did teeth cleaning (scaling and polish) and the dentist assured me that as long as I practice good oral hygiene my teeth will be healed and strong again.... I have been doing everything the dentist told me to do but my teeth is just getting worse, I go for regular cleaning every six months... But there seems to be no change..... Three months ago I went to a dental clinic for consultation after a couple of tests the dentist told me I have chronic periodontitis that the bone surrounding the affected teeth are being destroyed,he said that I have to do a root canal surgery....All this years I have been really depressed and I have a low self esteem ....am suppose to enter school this year but I can't because I want to use my tuition money for my treatment....I have problem with my eyes and now this! a lot of thoughts have floods in and out of head... . (Thoughts like all of this is my fault, what if I lose those teeth, what if I do the surgery and it fails, should I just end my life?I don't want to die, but if I end up losing those teeth I might not be able to bear the embarrassments the shame, I will literally become an outcast) at times I just sit in my room and cry.
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This is quite a tricky one. Any condition or accident which leaves our bodies, and particularly our faces, in some way 'different' from the accepted normal is going to have a huge psychological impact on the vast majority of people. It sounds like the treatment is a medical necessity for your long-term health, is this correct? If so then I'm afraid you will have to put off your further education until funds permit. You only have one body, and it has to last a long time mate! Is there any cosmetic dentistry available? Modern cosmetic dentistry is a big market, and extremely good. We can easily arrange a smile far better than we are born with! If the worse comes to the worse you have to aim at coming to terms with the fact that your teeth may not be as good as you might hope. It's really not case of anything to be embarrassed about or ashamed of if a condition leaves you looking a bit different to how you imagined. But this comment probably won't be much comfort or help to you right now, you dread the idea and it's making you very unhappy. It often needs a fair bit of counselling etc, just as accident victims who lose limbs for instance usually need help in this way too. Hopefully you'll find a physical solution which leaves you feeling OK about the way you look and the image you present to the world. Really, those people you know well will know all about your problem and they won't judge you, I promise. Friends don't notice, and it doesn't stop them being friends. I guess it's the nameless 'strangers' who you feel might judge or think harsh thoughts? Essentially, their opinion is not that important anyway mate. And they're usually so wrapped up in their own lives they usually don't much notice and certainly don't think about it much if they do. Best of luck with everything mate.
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The first thing you need to do is get some proper perspective. When you got up this morning you were still able to see the sunrise, were you not? Did you appreciate it? You were still able to eat breakfast I imagine. Did you savor the taste and feel grateful for having it? I am not trying to say you don't have some valid issues but you are blowing them WAY out of proportion. You do have a very serious problem but it isn't any of the things you mentioned. Your problem is that you have a negative mindset. The good news is that it doesn't have to be permanent. Have you ever heard the old saying, "Change your thoughts and you will change your life?" Try being grateful for even one thing today. Conjure up at least one happy thought and dwell on it for a little while. It is no harder than thinking a negative one. If you continue to do this, the positive thoughts will gain momentum and before you know it you will start to believe that everything will have a good outcome. If you can really believe that, then it will. Stop your crying and feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and see what you can do to help somebody who is in worse shape than you are! You will feel much better about yourself. You will soon realize that your worth as a person doesn't depend on your eyes or your teeth. I would also like to recommend that while you wait to see the dentist again, try the ancient practice of oil pulling (you can Google it). It is said to be very helpful for numerous oral hygiene and dental issues, at any rate, it can't hurt. Remember this: There is only one reason in this world for true shame and embarrassment, and that is for a person to deliberately waste the precious gift of life. Everyone has something to offer to make this world a better place and there is a great deal of shame in choosing not to do that. I think everything is going to work out just fine for you and this will be an inspirational story to tell your grandkids someday! Hang in there!
PS: If you believe your depression is more than just a reaction to your current situation and you truly wish to end your life, please seek medical help immediately!
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Worrying only makes things worse. Not only does it damage your body, but it also prevents you from thinking clearly and find solutions. The more you entertain negative thoughts, the easier for more thoughts like it to come to you and it'll continue the torment. So do your best not to think about it. I highly recommend a book called "how to stop worrying and start living" by dale carnegie. It really helped me and I'm sure it would help you. You can find the entire audiobook on youtube.
I'm also sensitive to light, so I just wear sunglasses if its too bright. No biggie.
Onto the teeth. I would try to look online, maybe there are treatments for it that are not mainstream, that are not normal medicine. Alternative treatments.
In the event that you do lose your teeth, you can always get fake teeth like dentures. But that's gonna take some money of course, but it'll solve your problem. You might be able to get it on credit or some other payment plan.
There's even cheap dentures that are more like fake teeth that go over your teeth. For people that have bad teeth. They don't look as good as the legitimate dentures, but it might be better than missing teeth. That's for you to decide.
Its important to not focus on the thing you don't like or dreading something happening. Even if those things never happen. You still stress out not only your mind, but your body as well.
A root canal is not a big surgery, its pretty common. Just make sure you go to a good dentist.
When we keep entertaining negative thoughts (about yourself or your life situation), there is a negative emotion associated with those thoughts. So you feel bad, as you feel bad, more thoughts of the same nature or "vibe" will flood into your mind IF YOU LET THEM or entertain them. Those more negative thoughts also bring negative emotions and the more negative emotions brings more bad thoughts. Its a downward spiral. So its very important to catch these negative thoughts sneaking into your mind and stop them right there and immediately think about something else. Or have a phrase you say to yourself when you catch negative emotions. For me, I like to use "the correct answer is, who gives a shit." For example, if I'm somewhere and I start thinking what other people think of me, I start speculating what they might be thinking of me if they like me or not, then when I realize I'm doing this, I say to myself "the correct answer is: who gives a shit" That usually stops the pattern for me. Find one that works for you.
One time, my girlfriend at the time got really drunk and was going around flirting with guys at a party. I saw this happening, but I was in such a great state of mind (because of meditation), that I saw the bad thoughts that would cause me to feel bad or angry coming into my mind. I saw them coming into my mind and when I started to entertain the thoughts or believe them, listen to them, pay attention to them, etc. I got a little more angry and sad. I noticed this and said to myself: "If I couldn't think these thoughts, I couldn't feel these feelings." So I stopped paying attention to those thoughts and the anger and negative emotions went away like magic.
If we let these negative thoughts run freely in our mind then its easy to become depressed.
In my personal experience, there have been "catastrophes" in my life. Not like real real catastrophe, just one that affects how I view myself and my life. Different than yours, but still a catastrophe in my mind. I also wondered if life was worth living after that point. And I have to say yes. A very crucial part of this is your state of mind and you have to accept what is. You don't have to like it, but you DO have to accept it. There's a little trick when someone doesn't want to accept what is. That is to tell them "Can you just accept it for one moment, a few seconds even; then you can go right back to not accepting it if you want." Usually the person will say yes or at least try. And will find out that if they CAN accept it if they really tried. Its quite liberating to accept what is. Even is "what is" is not what you want.
There are solutions to your problem. You might have to get dentures, big deal. At least there's SOMETHING you can do. You don't know FOR SURE that you're gonna lose your teeth, so why worry? and if you do lose them, there is a solution. So why worry?
Hope this helps. Another good book is "the power of now" by eckhart tolle. This is good for a healthy state of mind and accept what is. Might be on youtube, not sure.
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Hey there! Thank you so much for writing to me. I know you are embarrassed and skeptical but please just try to relax. Have faith in the surgeons and the surgery. Do some research on it and read a few success stories to make yourself feel better. Keep doing what your dentist tells you to do but also ask if you could possibly get a second opinion. Tell your dentist and doctors everything you've told me if you can because they can help more than I can. Thank you so much for coming to me for advice and I really hope I helped you! Thank you for your time.
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Ok, here is my advice to you. It sounds to me like you think very low of yourself and you were not taking very good care of yourself physically and emotionally. My advice to you is focus on your eyes first, because you need your eyes to see. Go to a non denominational church and ask if they can help direct you to someone who is affordable and help you with your eyes as well as your teeth. Before doing all of this, whether you are a believer or not please pray and ask God to help you through this...because I seriously am feeling your hurt and pain.
Regarding your teeth, I have sensitive teeth so I use a child's brush or the low sensitive adult brush and I make sure I'm flossing every day. Flossing is a big deal...if your teeth fall out, there are cheap ways to cover them up. You could consider dentures, which I believe a lot of people do. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but that is the best answer I can give you. Everything will be ok and you don't need to end your life, because you are important and on this earth for a purpose. I promise you that things will get better. Everything happens for a reason.
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