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It's all pointless
I'm so sick of everything. Of the miserable cycle that life is. What's even the point of life? I mean, I'm not gonna kill myself but everything just seems pointless and we're all gonna die someday anyways so why not now and just skip all the terrible parts?
I take it back, maybe I am gonna kill myself. Maybe. My life really isn't THAT bad, but it's pointless and empty and I am completely useless. So my question is, what's the best way to kill yourself? Just in case i need it in the future.
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You have come to the wrong place to find out how to kill yourself. That is not what we do here. What we do here is solve problems and give people reasons to live.
You are obviously not happy and probably depressed to the point medical intervention is needed for your depression. I'm not a doctor though I doubt you manically depressed or you would have written an entirely different letter. IF you are suffering from a form of depression it is most likely Clinical Depression which is normally easy to treat medically. Clinical depression is generally caused by the lack of one or more chemicals secreted into the brain. These can be helped with with medication.
I have suffered with clinical depression and while I don't see all the indicators in what you have written I see enough to ask you to see a doctor and get screened. In fact since you say, "maybe I am gonna kill myself," I would like you to pick up your phone and call 911. Emergency respondents will take you to a hospital ER where you will be treated and most likely released with an appointment for outpatient treatment.
I will tell you this for a fact as I have lived it. When you are clinically depressed, as I think you are, your entire perspective is off. You do not see things as they really are. Nothing is right, nothing makes sense, life is impossible which is where you say you are.
Help is a phone call away, call 911 what have you got to lose.
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