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What to do about my friend?
So i have this friend you know shes the kind of girl who is basically glued to the hip with her boyfriend. If you want a girls day out you better include him, if youre having a bday party you better invite him too and if you talk to her on the phone hes all she talks about, even if you change the convo somehow she relates it to him and if you bring up your problems it still relates to him. But he can hangout with his friends without her, but she cant hangout with her own friends without him. Anyways long story short shes cut off basically all of our friends and the only friend that shes still friends with is me from the friend group. This is a problem because now im the honourary third wheel, anytime we hangout its the three of us, i have no problem with him at all hes a really cool person but im just tired of being their third wheel. Whenever we would make plans she would name all these people that supposedly would be coming but then when i go its literally only us three every single time. Even for halloween same thing we were supposed to dress like characters from a movie but i backed out last minute because i found out it was only going to be us three and what do i look like being a third wheel for their couple costume? What should i do? No this isnt her first relationship she was exactly like this with her last boyfriend, however we had more friends so hangingout with her wasnt a problem when there was 4 of us instead of 3. Then she broke up with the guy but instantly went into her current relationship (its about to be 2 years soon) we are all 19 years old.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hey, this is all normal, but not something that we all like when we end up the 3rd wheel or ignored by a BFF. When we meet someone, we tend to want to spend more time with them because its so exciting. Its not just the friendship part with a bf/gf but that romance and sexual part that make it stand out over other relationships. When I married at 20, I tried inviting friends to come over for Halloween parties, bday parties, other events but at first everyone avoided us thinking we'd need our time alone since newly married. It took closer to 2 years before others were comfortable being around us so it can go both ways. this would be like you totally staying away from doing anything with any established couples. If any relationship ends up long lasting, like a year or longer, then eventually you will get to see the couples even out and get ready to introduce all their old friends back into their lives. This also happens naturally and theres no way to say when it can happen. So she's not doing anything wrong, and neither are you for feeling as you do. ALl you can do is try to understand but mostly give her all the time she needs until she is ready to spend time with friends. Think about it, how many long married couples do you know where the husband and wife are glued to each others hip after 5 yrs 10 yrs without ever reaching out to have mutual friends as well as their own friends and activities. I do not not of any long term couples like that. That's because all couples eventually learn how to have that special relationship as well as others in their lives. It comes in time. If she's worth it being a great friend, then you will wait for her until that time comes for her whether in months, a couple years or at some point in her adult life.
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