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my question is about dating issue
I have a guy who I see as my friend but unfortunately for me he start having feelings for me and I love him too but the issue is that I can't express my feelings for him cos he is older than me am 21 and he is 32 so I need your help to solve the issue
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An eleven year difference in age is not really that big of an issue now that you are and adult. If you were say 16 and he was 27 then that would be a problem. Now 21 and 32 are just numbers that mark ones time on this earth and it is very possible for you to love someone that much different in age if you will allow yourself to.
The issue is why is the age difference such a bother to you. IF you can love some one 5 years younger or 5 years older then yourself you should be able to express your feeling to some one 20 years older, IF you have actual feelings for him.
I believe you really have to sit down and figure out how you love him. Is your love for him that of a man and women or that of sister and older brother.
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I am hoping that you didn't realize that you explained that the age difference is your reason for not being able to express your feelings. That absolutely not possible. We as humans are capable of loving people of all sorts of ages, parents siblings,j friends and a significant others. If you think the age gap is too great, it isn't really. I know of people who were 9 years apart (my parents) to a couple at church who were 12 years apart and got married anyways. The only reason concern should be how a guy treats you, as an equal, loving, caring and being able to have a meeting of minds, things in common.
My guess is that this may be your first serious relationship and you don't feel comfortable with your having less experience than this older person. Well, there's experience in how to relate with other humans especially in a mate relationship and then there's sexual experience. If concerned about the realm of romance and sex and feeling you have no experience, the nice thing is, you don't need to have any. Yes, you need to be prepared with birth control if going down that route eventually, but for even having a first kiss or at least first kiss and more, each person is different in what they like and how to be touched so basically you have to re learn it all for the next partner if a relationship ends. Since you and the guy has to learn a new partner from scratch, that puts you put on the same playing field. As for more life experience in dealing with people, relating together best ways and not making the common mistakes, that is something you learn over time. You can read basic psychology, info on different personality types and sun signs, etc and know how each person is going to be different and have different needs and preferances.
If you truly did mean the age difference, the only thing that can change is how you think about it since ther'es no way to make him younger or you older with the wave of a wand. There is no other way to 'solve your issue' but find a way that your mind can deal with it or break up.
Usually when a gal loves a guy, she is going to want to hold hands, put and arm around him, cuddle close on the sofa, lay her head on his shoulder, idly stroke his hair, maybe hair on the chest. These are ways you can show how you feel about the guy. A real gentleman is going to wait for you to make the first move when you are ready. If you are not going to feel ready to try out the more serious parts of a relationship for a couple of years yet, it all depends on the guy if he is willing to wait or not. If you are not ready, don't force yourself to do something that does not feel right for you at this point in time. Just don't. Its a chance he has to take when dating someone younger who may not have life experience yet or not feel ready to explore the romantic part of a relationship. He may want to wait or not and if not, it shouldn't be to try to force you to change your mind.
When you meet the right guy, you will want to kiss him and show affection to him. No matter how handsome, if there isn't a strong enough chemistry and for me, other than things and beliefs in common, it also has part to due with having a match or close match in pheromones.
Finally some reality on couples. WHen two meet, sometimes both feel a strong instant attraction and love for the other. Sometimes only one person feels it and the other isn't attracted that way at all, just friends, not romantic. This happens more often than you would think. The highest amount of guys you might like are not all going to feel exactly the same. A caution here though, many men may not feel that connection on the personality level and only be attracted sexually. That is not enough for women in a relationship but it seems to be for many men. Males are able to separate lust from love and so they can often be drawn to a female but not for love. At his age, a guy is more likely to be choosing to remain a bachelor and date forever but not settle down, or he is ready and beginning to search for his future wife and mother of his children. That sounds like a lot more than you are ready for right now and if thats where he's at, you will have a hard time being able to relax with him and let the relationship flow at its own pace and one you're comfortable with. He may feel he's running out of time to start a family if indeed thats where hes at, I don't know. And knowing that all could make you too nervous to be yourself, almost feeling smothered by just knowing what his ultimate goal is. If he's the playing around type and not serious to commit to you in any way, then you need to deicde whether you want to enter into something with him just for the experience. It is through experience of many dating relationships that you will discover what things you like and don't like about a guy and you'll want to refer to a list like that at the time you feel ready for a serious relationship like a long term one if not marriage.
If he is making romantic overtures and you are not ready, not even to kiss, you'd have to say something. Just giggling and dodging him could be mistaken for being playful and acting hard to get instead of not feeling ready yet. If you have not been in a serious relationship yet, tell him, share what ever it is you find too hard to get around yet. Let him hear that you realize he's older and likely has more dating and relationship knowledge than you. You are just starting out and there fore want to go slowly at a rate that you are comfortable with and it could be a few years before you are ready to get into a serious relationship are far as sharing of love, beings romantic and sexual. Either he understands and is willing to still stay, or he moves on and problem solved in another fashion.
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