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How to stop looking at every guy as a potential boyfriend?
Do you guys have any tips on how to stop seeing guys as potential boyfriends? I dont have any guy friends but i want some now but everytime im around guys attractive or not i get tongue tied and awkward, then start to do anything in my power to avoid them. Please help thank you
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YOu are correct that you are looking at each male as a potential boyfriend, the reason being that when hoping for a boyfriend, a girl will be afraid to approach him to talk or if conversation does start and the male has the kind of looks that appeal to you, you also get tongue tied and awkward and its because we are too worried about making a bad impression as its so important a thing to us.
Only you could know if its really a lack of self confidence as you will experience it in all area's of your life and lack of self confidence will hold you back from taking the chances with a guy.
If however, you have no problem in other areas of life and talking to other people, and females and guys who are not attractive to you, then it is only the fear of being a klutz or doing something stupid to ruin your chances that is holding you back. The best way to cure this is to face your fears. Thats easy to say but how does one go about facing such a fear? I used to have extreme social anxiety, now i am confident and able to converse about anything with anybody, no topics forbidden.
What I did was not avoidance but to actually approach the guy I was attracted to. You can try several tactics once you get started but the first thing to do is to admit your problem. That will make fear go away cus your fear is no longer hidden. Another fear could crop up, like what will he think of me? Once you start doing this over and over, you will see that no one ever says that it is a bad thing and either will think or say that you are brave for being able to admit it. Guys like to be of help to females, thats one trait of males. So you might try saying something like. "HI and their name for greeting or if you don't know them, Hi my name is.....and I have a problem. I was hoping you could help me. I get tongue tied and feel awkward around guys. for some reason, I've never quite learned how to talk to and feel comfortable around guys. I was wondering if you might be interested in being friends and helping me with that."
YOu can do something like that in your own words but best to admit straight off about the tongue tied thing in case you do get tongued tied after that and then you could say,dang its happening again, I am tongue tied, all while a really nice guy would be trying to reassure you. If a guy is shy or afraid of rejection from females, he may be very willing to actually help, even the outgoing confident ones may be attracted enough and willing to help you get through it and gain your confidence. After you are comfortable with one, you'll find it easier to do so with others doing the same thing if you ever get stuck.
I know it sounds like a terrible and scary solution and you may want to try other things first. But I know it works cus it worked for me.
That saying about taking a leap of faith is soo wrong. The reason so many don't take that leap is because there is no faith that it will work out, there is only fear. So it may as well be called 'A leap of fear'. Its exactly what the words imply, that you take that leap or that chance and just do what it was you wanted to do even though you are feeling fear as you contemplate it, fear and you start taking those actions, start opening your mouth to talk, and the fear that makes you fumble for words. But if you do what I say and ask for help and mention your fear that will make the fear finally go away and according to my experiences, it never comes back, at least not with that one aspect or situation you feared once. Good luck hon. If you need to gain self confidence in all areas of life instead, then let me know and I have special instructions for you to try to gain more self confidence.
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