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Dating ex's friend
I dated a girl about 5-6 years ago. We broke up bad but we've been friends now for the past couple years. Her best friend is now single and I'd like to date her, but my ex said her friend won't date me because they're best friends.It's been years since I dated my ex and she's engaged now so her feelings for me (if she has any) shouldn't matter. Should I try talking to my ex's friend or not?
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Yes, you should talk to her. Just because your ex said she wouldn't date you does not mean its true. That could be just a line.
I do know that when it comes to a girl dating her girl-friend’s ex, most females know “The Code.” It’s that Girl Code that contains the unspoken rule that dating your friend’s ex is TOTALLY out of the question. He’s off limits…period.
So there's a chance that even if the best friend is interested in you, and she totally believes in that rule and is afraid of losing her girlfriend is she breaks it, that she may not accept if you ask her out. If this is the case, keep watch to see if the two have a falling out and part ways as friends and try again if you're still available.
You won't know til you ask if she lives by this same rule as your ex seems to.
I personally do not think it makes any sense at all and I'm a female. If the guy was not a bad guy, but the two just were not a good match, it does not mean that with a girls bestie, that a guy would still not be a match. My opinion is that women who hang out as couples with other couples in small groups would feel awkward or intimidated if their female friend were to start bringing the womans ex to these group gatherings. That might be the only reason, can't say for sure. I agree that since she is engaged to be married that it shouldn't matter as it's not like she's hoping to get back with you.
If the girlfriend wants to date you but is too afraid to stand up to her friend (your ex) she may lack backbone or self confidence or even lack wisdom to realize that if her friend found love, why can't she try to find love also if you might be the one for her and let your ex know that she is going to date you now since the ex is engaged. But you can't of course tell her what to do, only can hope and pray she does the right thing if interested in you.
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My thoughts are; nothing ventured nothing gained. You have nothing to lose by talking to the ex's girlfriend and seeing if she will go out with you. The worst she can say is no. Just because you and the ex didn't work out doesn't mean you and the ex's girlfriend won't have things in common.
When it comes to matters of the heart all is fair in love and war and this could be love. The ex's girlfriend may not say anything to you out of deference to her friend. If you were to approach her that would be different. Then she can say something like, he approached me and I just wanted to see what he was like. Can I help it is we fell in love or if we are now in a relationship. These things happen; your married why should you care.
See what I'm getting at. Because of her friendship no matter how much she may want to date you she cannot make the first move that has to be you. Once you make that move if she wants to date you she now has plausible reasons to give to her friend so as not to ruin that relationship just so she can have one with you.
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