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im kinda sad but im kind of happy
HI :)
I know wrote you that i havent been satisfied in my class bc i felt i didnt have true friends, but im kinda realising that i do have some , its just sometimes i took things too personally...on one side im happy bc i feel that someone likes me but on the other side im kinda sad i have only one school year let on high school , i didnt enjoy high school until this year , and i know now that im gonna miss some people, my friends and also some of my teachers, im even gonna miss my classmate(HIM), im kinda over him but i think i´ll miss him the most bc he is the only one in my class that knows how i really feel,...i feel like i´ve missed most of my high school years and I´ve been so sad and depressed and now its nearly over :/...i dont know why i am so emotional about this ...its school for god's sake :D :D
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It's perfectly natural to feel like this. Certain events mark out the path of our lives, like chapters in a book. In a way, each chapter is complete, but is also a part of the whole story. Your story. Your life. We feel mixed emotions as phases of our life draw to a conclusion. The excitement of the next new phase is mixed with some foreboding. Will I be up to the next challenges? Will I cope? The passing phase may well, as you point out, have been far from perfect at times. And possibly some parts will be painful to look back on still, and we are glad to see them behind us. We learned something from them is the best we can often say! And yet, looking back, well...it wasn't that bad overall, was it? Some good times, and a comfortable familiarity about it all? If you feel you would like to rewind and play it back again, only knowing what you know now of course...guess what? Every one of us have felt THAT one!! You haven't 'missed' those high school years either. In fact, for all of us, our lives are 'lost in the living' as you might say. (I think I've stolen that phrase from TS Elliot!). Which do you think is the more scary, the future or the past? Many of us would choose the future. I think you would choose the future, right? But the moment and the future are the only places we can live in and move into. The only ones alive with possibilities and opportunities. Expect to feel melancholy at times as this phase of your life draws to a close. You would not be human if you did not. Keep those things of value the past has given you and move forward. Embrace change. Every day you are alive you are subject to change. We cannot 'stay as we are' in an unchanging landscape. We are either alive, and changing...or dead and beyond it's touch. But of course we are then beyond the reach of anything at all. You're doing OK. You might not think you are, but you are. X
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