|
I want to know what exactly is wrong
I'm into a long distance relationship, and I celebrated my birthday in the month of May.. my boyfriend schools in another state, so all he did was to call me and wish me well,he also said he was starting exam that day so he couldn't come over for the weekend that was all.. His best friend celebrated her birthday this month June, he called me and told me few days to her birthday that he was traveling to meet her(cos she schools in another state also).. He went over because of her and uploaded over 50 of her pictures.. I feel uncomfortable and angry,cs none of my picture was posted, neither was I even acknowledged and I dnt knw what to do anymore.. what is going on??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
You can believe what he says about the exam. This sounds legit. It is also possible that he went to see her for a party and because it had been a long time since he saw her and she lives far away.
That part could be true. As far as her pictures being posted to Facebook it could just be him posting party pictures or more. You need to talk to him about this. Generally if someone has never exhibited this kind of behavior before it means they aren't going to be likely to.
You have to understand long distance relationships don't usually work because of the distance and not being physically present. The previous advice that he may have found someone else and isn't in to you anymore may be true. You need to discuss this with him. At the same time you should try and find someone whom you can see regularly because this isn't working for you on an emotional and other levels.
When someone isn't really in your daily life it's hard for them and for you too to continue to be involved on any level with that person. You need to know where it all stands.
]
My guess is that he isn't as into you as you think. When it comes to relationships, in my opinion, the long distance ones are the hardest. There are too many things that can go wrong. I won't go into all that unless you are curious and ask. What I will say is if this was a face to face (in the flesh) relationship rather than over the net, then ignoring your birthday as his supposed girlfriend but traveling to celebrate birthday of a female friend is a very bad sign. I know most of this test I will post to know whether a guy loves you won't count for you because this is long distance and that is one reason why the test doesn't apply but it does state that if a guy can't make you one of his top 3 priorities in life, then he probably doesn't love you. People can say they love without it ever being true. Don't look for just the words but the actions to prove whether a guy loves you. So heres the test.
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says I love you, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
[view]
Now that you've read this all, I think you'll see why this can't apply at all to a LDR.
But this is all valid criteria for a woman to know if a man really loves her or not. This supports then the need to have an 'in person' relationship rather than one on line. On line, you will never know if he's proud to show you off, or will take you to meet his folks.You also can't use your family and friends to gauge how they feel about how he treats you because he's not there in front of them with you to witness how he treats you. As for point #7, kind of hard to see him look at you with lust in his eyes or try to take peeks down your shirt. This is important cus it shoes he is still interested. My husband still does, all the time but is very discreet and mindful in public to not do so if anyone else is around so I am not embarassed when it goes beyond just looking to touching with love pats. If he were here in person, I'd have to say, you're better off moving on. Since he is far away, theres no way to know whats going on and just cus he didn't have to study and had the time to visit someone else does not make up for ignoring you. You can choose to stay and continue to feel like a door mat or leave and find a really good man, one that meets all the criteria.
]
More Questions: |