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I need to know if he has feelings for me
I started a new job. I really like someone there. I want to know if the signs show he also likes me. He most always says hi or good morning with a smile. I notice him looking at me. I feel I always catch his eye. If he knows where I am he seems to hang around. He talks loudly to others when im in ear shot. But seems quieter when I talk to him. I feel chemistry. When he is walking down the hall we make,eye contact and say hi when passing. Sometimes seems nervous around me. Last time I saw him I smiled really big and said hi he did the same with a huge smile.when I first started working there he had someone introduce us.
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Proceed with caution especially if you work with this person every single day. It could make things awkward especially if co-workers and bosses pick up on it or he balks. It can cost you a gig.
You don't know much about this guy yet or what his private life is like such as is he married, divorced, single, plain not looking or even if he's a decent person outside the enviornment you are in at work.
There's a chance that you do have chemistry albeit as friends and that maybe the eye contact, nervousness etc could all be friendliness but could also be shyness too.
I'm not saying he doesn't like you in the manner you like him but you have to weigh this as well as how much you like your job before pulling the trigger so to speak and finding out where you stand with him.
Perhaps you can pull together a group outing with friends to a comedy club, bar, party etc and ask if he would like to join you and explain you don't usually ask co-workers along but felt you were becoming friends.
If he's in to you he will move mountains to go and be enthused about it. However, if he rejects the invitation or has an excuse that sounds less than reasonable than you'll know to move on or not. This way you protect your rep around the office because you didn't ask him out directly nor tipped your card that you like him. It keeps you safe but gives you the answer you need at the same time.
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Hiya! Dr.D here!
Its hard for us to know if others like us or not. But we know for sure when we like someone. We have strange feelings, and we act differently. I know from experience. But how do you know if he likes you? well the best way is, to ask. Its not the advice you were looking for. But its sure as heck the best answer. If you want to know if he likes you, then the best way to know is ask him. And he will tell you. It could blossom into something beautiful. And if he says no to you. He is one fish within an entire ocean. But don't be afraid to ask. Fear can turn into courage.
I hope I helped. Good luck. And don't be afraid!
-Dr.D
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Womens intuition goes a long way towards giving you a clue. If you are feeling the vibes, its either only on your part or he is interested as well. The one thing you said that gives me a clue the most is that when you started working there, he asked someone to introduce you...that means you at least had caught his eye and was attracted to what he saw. Thats where it starts for all. Then next, its the feelings we get when standing or sitting near each other and finally, the next stage is the two starting dating to determine if they also like whats below skin level, a persons character and personality.
I do not know what office policies are regarding employees dating where you are, so if its forbidden, you'd have to date in secret and not do the cow eyes at each other when near each other at work. There may be stiff sexual harassment policies as well and that is enough to scare a guy from even asking a girl out if she is not interested. The reason why, is that sometimes instead of just saying no, and even if he hasn't asked repeatedly, a gal might say he is sexually harassing her. I had that happen to a family member and all he did was ask her out. So in a case with co workers, its especially better for the gal to make the first move. There is no reason you can't have him join you and a friend in the break room and have conversations where you aren't just asking him questions but others as well if you want to keep this hidden. After a little while of talking to him at work, not just smiling and saying hi, you ask if he'd like to go for a coffee or whatever after work if you work same hours. If not, you can always come up with something else like, my friend can't go with me to the movies this Saturday and I want to see the opening of "name the movie" and hate going alone. Would you like to go with me? Thats a pretty strong clue to him that of all the people you must know from work and away from work, that you asked him to go along. This is a more subtle way of asking a guy out, getting him away from the office so you can then find out if he may be interested in dating. There are more and more males who wait for the woman to make the first move, to ask out, to kiss, and for sex. Not as common as younger ages, but there are men in 30s on who are like this. After a divorce and being on dating site, I met my 2nd husband. He wrote to me, but when we met in person, after a few days of him not making a move to kiss me, I kissed him. Its wasn't for lack of want and desire, I could tell by how he honestly talked about himself that he was really into me. I also had to initiate sex but as soon as i initiated, that told him I was into him alot and he began to initiate things in return and relax around me. If however he acts this way with everyone, all the smiles and saying hi to all he comes across, then it may be more of his personality and being outgoing and such. You'd still need to find a time when you can ask him. If he can't make a certain time or event you ask him to away from work, then it may be schedule busy-ness for him and not disinterest. LEt that go and after a couple days ask him again. If he turns you down again, he's not interested. If he is interested, and he is mature enough to understand you need some explanation why the time again won't work, he would need to explain that he has something else on the schedule. ANd once he does that, then you could ask if there is a better time. I am assuming you know if he's single and available or not. If not sure, in that friendly meet up with a co worker outside of work, ask him personal questions leading up to what you want to know. Cus yes, it can be awkward to go straight to the first question being, So, are you single?
Ask if he has siblings, share if you have any, ask if he's the oldest or youngest, does he get to see family often. Then fit in, are you single or married or dating. You let him know also your status. This ways it part of friendly conversation so if he answers he is dating or is married, you smile and make some comment like "good for you. Glad you found someone to love. And you don't have to reveal how you felt and that awkward part about rejection. You can come up with what you'd basically say, ahead of time but to find out for sure and move on to the dating phase, you likely will need to make the first move, however you decide is comfortable for you and will protect him in case of policies at work that could hurt him or you.
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