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Two of my friends don't like my boyfriend
I asked a similar question awhile back, but things have progressed and I am at a new crossroad.
Early in December I was approached by my two roommates who voiced their concern about my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and some change, and we're both in our final semester of college. From the minute I met him it was like everything in me knew I wanted him for the rest of my life. We dated for a school year, and then spent the summer long distance. Relationships are never perfect, but any disagreement we had we fixed and I had never been happier. Starting this first semester we had bigger fights about smaller things. I felt like I was always putting in more effort than him and we almost broke up twice. Both times my roommates were there for me and supportive. And I don't blame them for being upset with him, I would too if I saw how hurt someone was making my friend! They basically asked me straight up why I was with him and that they thought I should break up with him.
Over winter break we spent some time apart and then spent a week at my parents house away from campus. The first half of the week talked endlessly about our problems, being more honest with each other than we have ever been - than I have ever been with anyone in my entire life. Once we figured out our problems we decided together that what we had was worth working on. The second half of the week we talked about how we can make things better. When we got back to school things were still rough at first but we both did what we said we would do.
One of my issues were I wanted him to have better relationship with my friends. After all the fighting, he felt tension from them and didn't want to come around as much. He did try to get to know them better and fix relationships, and now I know that most of my friends are just happy that we're happy and like him. However, he said he feels like he can't get anywhere with my two roommates. He says he feels constantly judged around them and that they are cold and standoffish towards him. I can see where he thinks that but at the same time they are always asking if he can come over and trying to spend time with him so I really want him to give them another chance. He has told me its something he doesn't think he can do. He understand that they are important to me but he also points out that we only have two more months of school and he doesn't even think I will stay close to the two of them. It is true that he does have a good relationship with all of my other close friends. And its not like I love all of his friends, but I at least show face... I don't know what to do...
We still have our problems and sometimes it feels like this tension with my friends could be a tipping point. My family absolutely adores him and he is very close with my siblings. That's really the most important thing to me. I just don't know what to do with these last two months and whether its even worth pushing the issue. But at the same time I can't help but think this could be a sign of a bigger issue or problems down the road.... HELP!
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Your parents are older and have more experience in life. Therefore, if they like him and approve of him, then likely there isn't any problem to worry about. Your friends have less experience in seeing the quality of a person. Sure every couple has arguments but it is how they settle them and how they still love each other that shows that there is hope for the relationship. YOur friends, even if having dated, do not have long term life experience.
What you need to see is anything they say or their actions not as causing trouble but as a show of how much they really care about you. That may not translate into staying in touch after college but a person can care that deeply about someone even just by a one time incident and they are remembering you being hurt. Asking you to break up is not meant to be a bad thing against you but is misguided and unwanted comments. That is something lots of people even way older adults have never learned, telling people what they think you should do, when you never asked their opinion. If you ever asked even once even while crying "What should I do?" that might have given them the impression they could always give their advice. I understand you feel that pressure since you live together but as he said, it's only two more months. Don't worry about trying to convince them.
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