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Secret Admirer card backfired- any advice?
So, when I started my current job a year ago a much younger woman, E., was very friendly toward me- catching my eye, smiling, staying behind.
I had had a terrible experience from getting involved in work before so kept my distance from her. I knew that between the age difference (20y) and simply working in the same office nothing good could happen.
She seemed hurt but found a man from another office and they moved in together.
Eventually we got talking and I really enjoyed her company- she has a Visual Arts degree and we share similar tastes in TV and film, though she prefers Fantasy books and is quite a 'romantic' thinker.
She was the first person outside my team to ask about me after my hospital stay, which was nice, and we have some great chats.
Anyway, This Valentines Day we had an office theme and we're encouraged to send cards etc.
I thought it would be nice to send her a Secret Admirer card- nothing intense, just a 'have a happy day' type card, no hearts, declarations of love etc.
When she got it she seemed really happy which was nice to see. The usual "so embarassing" whilst showing it to every other woman. It felt good.
However a week later she suddenly became very distant from me. Avoiding eye contact, curt replies, no smiles. She even left work with a female friend without saying goodnight, neither of which she has done before. I have no idea how she worked out it was from me.
I have kept out of her way as I hate the idea of making her unhappy or uncomfortable in any way.
I tried to do something nice but it backfired. I get on well with everyone else from canteen staff to managers and even have a female work friend the same age as E. who keeps meeting me for lunch.
I don't want to get a reputation as a 'creeper' at work. Nor do I want E. To feel odd around me as in the circumstances I just thought it would make her feel special and happy.
Any advice?
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You may want to wait for some younger person to jump in here, but, I will give you my idea.
Maybe she was waiting for this secret admirer to say something. Tell her it was you. If she is avoiding you now you really have nothing to lose.
You don't make a girl happy by sending secret admirer message & then just leaving it hanging like nothing was said. THAT makes people uncomfortable. She might think she has a stalker. So I think you should seriously consider telling her it was you. If you have feelings for her let her no.
What about this other girl who keeps meeting you for lunch? Hey, she may be interested in you. Take a look at her too.
Good luck! :)
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