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He is online but i like him
So i am 18 years and I met a guy who is 21 years online. At first I saw his pic and I was not interested. But I added him and eventually we began video chatting a lot and I found he looks better on the camera. I didn't know he liked me until we did a can call... And well the way he kept looking at me... So I asked him and he said he do like me. The big problem is he won't date me because he doesn't like online dating... Oh and well he is an atheist... And I have realized that he rarely or never messages first... Should I just continue messaging first? because I font want to screw this up... Since my experience always said I never message first.... I know this is just online but contrary to my last online date this one actually introduces me to his family and friends and he tells them he likes me...
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You need to exercise an abundance of caution with online dating and making sure a person is who they say they are and have a good background. I don't get it why is he on an online site presumably for meeting women if he has no desire to date someone?
There's a reason he doesn't want to date you and not liking the idea of dating someone from online although in some cases a good one doesn't seem to add up here. Why would he talk to you at all online? Guys don't just chat for extended time with women they don't know online nor do they do video chatting. He may be married or looking for a friend only.
You need to be smart and ask him what happened to him in the past for him not to want to date anyone from online? It's a reasonable question and he should answer that for you. Also, ask how come he never messages you first and let him do so first and don't communicate until he does. It shows you aren't needy.
As far as religion goes funny thing is it really isn't an issue in the end unless made into one so I find. Love can transcend that. I know people of two separate faiths in huge contrast to one another and they just don't care it's a non-issue for them.
Here's the confusing part the last sentence says he's introduced you to his family. How can he do this if everything is online? Perhaps I read that sentence wrong and you meant in the past someone else you met online introduced you to his family.
Anyways, see if this guy contacts you first as that will show you if there is genuine interest and have him answer your questions on online dating experiences and not messaging first and ask him the religion question and if it even matters with the women he dates. Then you'll have a bigger portrait or who he is and whether you match or not.
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Hon, You've grown up in a generation that uses cells and texting to talk to a person instead of face to face as it was when I was your age. Your generation is slowly forgetting how to even hold a conversation or act with someone in person rather than over the internet. I have seen that some colleges are now offering classes to teach students how to have a conversation or real in life friendship, not on line. That is very sad. If you really prefer to always date on line, remember that it is a poor facsimile to the real thing. It is virtually impossible to build trust on line. If one is gullible and will believe anything the other says without being able to be on site and see for yourself if this person is consistantly who they say they are, then there is no way to know for sure. In wanting to impress, a person can fake alot online. Another issue is not being able to know what it feels like to hold hands, kiss, etc. And I don't know of any woman who wants to have kids who can get pregnant via the internet. YOu really need the real live person for that. So I can understand him not wanting on line dating. He is very intelligent to know it is a far cry from the real thing. There is interest and he likes you but that doesn't make a sturdy relationship. Nows the time to meet in person and take it from there in person. The longer one stays in the internet, the more you risk mentally imagining and filling in the spaces with what sounds good to you but may not be anything like that person. I have only used the internet as a tool to learn of the existance of someone, used dating sites and choose to screen it for meeting those no further than a hours drive away. That way if I meet someone promising on line, i can find out more about them pretty easily in person.
For many people, the interest level is not the same as being in person with someone so it is reasonable they may not message first. It just holds no interest.
If you decide you prefer only having relationships on line for the rest of your life, thats your choice dear, but it will be a lonely one. I prefer having a warm body to cuddle up to on winter nights, not my computer. Therefore, I can't really say whether you should keep messaging first. Maybe he is ready to meet in person if possible. If not and he lives in another country then I wouldn't consider this a possibility that will go anywhere. If he lives across the country or another state, that still makes it hard but perhaps one of you can make a trip to visit and then decide if you want to keep up an on line romance.
In reality, the only on liners I know that worked, was couples who knew each other already, like a couple where one is in military and is out on missiions and only way to stay in touch is the web. The other is couples who end up going to different colleges in different states and must do the same. But these are people who already had an established relationship in person that worked because they had to chance to cement that relationship.
The atheist part need not be an issue. Most atheists I know of will not try to convince others to be atheist and will allow friends or partners to believe their own way, as long as their religious beleifs are not crammed down their throat. That will kill their interest quickly. So if you can stand that and not let the fact he is atheist bother you, then thats the least of the issues.
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