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mythejane99
hi :) , i offered my twin brother that we would have birthday party together, that i would invite girls and he would invite boys, but he said he doesnt want girls to be on the party, so he's having birthday party on friday only with boys, he's so stubborn, he's treating me so bad, he said that in school we're not friends :( you see what brothers i have , both my twin brother and my older brother doesnt have among friends on facebook,they say they want to have some privacy on fb,..so i probably wont have any birthday :/ ....and about HIM (the Classmate)...everyday it's getting worse,i got panic attacks at school, and im always about to cry when i see him, and i always see him how is he talking with my classmate (girl), i think he likes, and how he always sits near her, and to me he doesnt even go near me nor talk to me , nor look at me,if only he knew how much it hurts me its really bad,what should i do about him ?? Should i tell him everything , how i feel ? i dont want to go to school anymore bc of him and no one likes me there, even my twin brother treats to me like im piece of s*it which i probably am, and when i sit during break i talk with my friend, i always ask her something but she never asks me anything personal, why ??..i guess sh's not.my true friend... Im always nice to everyone in class...you see no one in my class likes me not even my brothers(why i dont have normal brothers?)...so whats the point of living, please what should i do ? i cant bear it anymore and there is the guote that explains everything : " im always either used, replaced or forgotten. I understand that. But what i dont understand why. I always try my hardest to make people happy and to mean something to them. But it never works. Im always worth shit to everyone, everytime." ,
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Mate! We've been here already. Please believe me, this is just a (very!) low self-esteem talking here. It's distorting every situation, twisting it all out of shape. OK, we might have to face the fact that the party is probably not going to happen. It's time your twin brother grew up a bit, by the sound of things. He probably will, eventually. For now leave him to his mates and his childish attitude. It's his problem, not yours. It's the same with the guy you fancy. You're evaluating yourself on what other people think of you. Even worse, your perception of their value is all messed-up by your low self-esteem. We might say that not only is your idea of your own value completely wrong, the whole currency you're counting it in is worthless. A lot of people go through an 'identity crisis' like this. Most of them come out of it at the other end. Many of them hide it, just like you are hiding it, so that we may not ever know what demons they are fighting with inside. And YOU are going to get through it too. First objective is simply containment. Don't think about a 'cure' yet. Your priority right now is just 'stop the bleeding'. Come on, dig deep. The answers are in you. Not your crush, not your parents, not your brothers. You can and will live without their permission. You do not need their consent or approval to live and be happy. What are you worth? Can you imagine a guy richer than Bill Gates? He will reach the end of his life one day, and all his riches and assets will not buy him one extra minute of life. So. Tell me now, what is a life worth? (No malicious intent or offence towards the excellent Mr Gates of course, just chose him because of his near-legendary wealth!). This low self-esteem can be really crippling. But, as I'm sure we said, it is not a psychiatric condition needing medication, and it is something we can turn around. I can see this negative self-image in how you write. There are patterns and dynamics here. Example? "I'm always nice...it never works". If your self-esteem was higher you would say "I usually do all I can to be nice....sometimes it just does not work." It's time to start building that new 'you' we talked about. And as soon as possible. X
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