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What's the best way to get my ex back?
Hello, long story short back in October I broke up with my ex of only 4 months. Looking back on it now I probably shouldn't have and I want to give things another chance. At the time I was with him I was still fighting in court with my ex before him, trying to get a restraining order if that tells you anything. I was going through that as well as medical issues, and having to move to a new city and start a new job. It was just too much for me with a relatively new boyfriend and he was also going through a bunch of crap that had him all stressed out and the combination was a bad one at the time.
Now everything in my life has cleared up and I want him back. I know how selfish that sounds, but I still think about him and think maybe. Since then I've tried to date other guys, but none of them work out and I think I made a mistake. At the time I broke up with him I assumed like any girl in her early 20's that it was just another stepping stone, but I really miss him now and feel like I blew it.
The issue is I know I broke his heart and the damage is going to be hard to repair if he even decides to give me another shot. Even worse, he's currently staying with his family for the holidays and I know they'll steer him away (which they have every right to).
I texted him tonight and he chatted with me for a bit, but we beat around the bush on why I had texted and just made small talk (Hi, how are you...how's your family...etc.). Then he stopped responding and I know I should probably give up and just move on.
On the off chance he does give me a shot and that he just went to bed for the night, how can I convince him that we should try again without being the crazy ex who realized she screwed up?
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There is NOTHING wrong in admitting you screwed up or feel awful about how you treated him. That must be done with sincerity and NOT to try and entice him to come back. You need to right a wrong here.
You need him to see your head was not in the right place at the time and demonstrate a difference in behavior that is honest. A prior relationship with someone you have a restraining order on and being in court is going to make him, his family and any person question who you are and the choices you made.
His family may be happy and you have to prepared that this relationship was over after 4 months. They may see you as a mistake and hell he may too. You have no idea where any of them are at.
The fact he texted back may be because he doesn't want you to think he dislikes you. He doesn't want to blow you off. He may like you and he may not.
What I would do is take a break from dating and figure out who you are, where you are going and deal with past issues in life that have influenced the presence. After that pursue a relationship with right person.
There's a reason that you didn't have a successful relationship here. You rushed into one, didn't have your head clear and had personal issues on both sides impact the relationship. You really didn't know one another well.
I think what you have to do is have coffee with him and apologize not with the expectation of forgiveness or the motive of trying to get back together. Offer friendship and try to work through differences and moving forward. If he's not interested than that's okay. Be friends before becoming anything else as you'll see if there's anything there to build on.
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