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Why my mom in denial of me having attention deficit disorder?
I m a woman. I don t understand. I m now in my early 20s and seeking cognitive behavioral therapy to finally help me get my life together. I ve felt anxiety ever since I was young and had many bouts of depression, especially in my teen years. I have a lot of symptoms of ADD and even saw a couple of psychologists who suspected I had ADD, from my early childhood to my teenage years. But when I had a conversation with my mother about her interpretation of things, to her, I was just self-diagnosing. Even though I ve seen records of diagnoses and have also been told of my diagnoses. I don t get why my mother decided to ignore my problems all together and to this day is in denial when I m clearly still not a self sufficient, normal adult, because over years and years of not getting help, I haven t developed to be a self sufficient, normal adult. It hasn t just been out of nowhere. I ve tried and failed many times to try to get back on my feet on my own. I m now seeking therapy properly again. It s just sad and confusing to me that my mom would rather pretend I m just a hypochondriac or something. I m not seeking drugs. I know that I can change things in my life with practical advice. I had even been recommended to get cognitive behavioral therapy in my teenage years but my mother never followed through. Sorry to whine on here, this is part venting and part seeking others opinions, as, potentially relating to my untreated ADD, I have no close friends (and haven t in many years).
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You don't have to be crazy or delusional to be mentally ill. I am pretty sure that your mother means well. However, over the years she has probably heard one diagnosis or opinion of you that radically differs from doctor to doctor.
She was likely confused and in those days lets face it what we knew of ADD and childhood onset of mental health disorders isn't what it is now. As a parent she likely figured she knew you better than anyone else and didn't think your behavior amounted to X,Y, Z medical opinion and likely why she got several.
Maybe you are a hypochondriac in the sense that you have always lived as though there was something deficient about you or that you had an illness that amounted for behavior or you blamed for not being the kind of adult you wanted etc. etc. Perhaps you do and maybe it should have been looked into now. Your mother may know more than you have asked her about and why she didn't go with one opinion over multiple.
I think it's important to really live your life to the fullest and the way you desire to live it than in fear. Yes, common sense is to find out if you have any of these issues and seek treatment but at the same time don't let something you may not even have dictate what you do here and now. And that's what is going on.
The fact you are not functioning like a ''normal'' adult may or may not be due to a disorder. I'm not a doctor but you definitely should be discussing this NOT with a family doctor or run of mill therapist but a psychiatrist who can help you work towards becoming sufficient and in control of your life and work out obstacles seemingly keeping you from it.
The previous advice you were given is true that a psychiatrist is the ONLY person who can tell you exactly what is happening and what and if you have a mental health issue. Nobody else can treat or diagnose such an illness.
Even if you have a mental health problem it's not the end of the world and doesn't mean you're permanently crazy or whatever labels and stigma are out there and that means bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, anxiety or whatever else. People just don't understand these labels among our society. You would be normal and having an illness just like Cancer or anything else you get helped for.
As far as ADD goes where I live outside the U.S. it is usually seen in schools as a learning disability and not psychiatric with ADDHD considered behavioral/learning and concerning the brain but not a psychiatric illness that they treat. I know this from experience how mental illness diagnosis is made and classifications having a doctor explain years ago.
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We are not the ones whose advice you should be seeking. We are not doctors and this forum is not the type of forum needed to truly answer your question. You have taken the first positive step in seeking therapy but you also need a proper diagnosis.
What I suggest is first get a complete physical. Tell your doctor everything so he or she knows why your there and what to look for. Then after a clean bill of health from your doctor seek out a qualified Board Certified Psychiatrist this is the best doctor to diagnose you for ADD, Depression and anxiety as well as prescribe medication. You r family doctor really is not qualified to treat these disorders what they do is treat the symptoms but not the underlying cause. Then with a proper diagnosis you seek therapy with a psychologist and meet regularly for medicine checks with the psychiatrist.
As for why you mother denies our problem, there are many reason why. The biggest one is that many people see your problem as a mental illness. There is a big difference between your problem and a mental illness. I don’t know that much about ADD other than it is very treatable. Depression and anxiety can be a side effect of ADD sometimes which is also very treatable and controllable with medication. Mental illness and psychiatry are something people don’t understand.
It is not like an injury or any other illness which they can see or know what to do for it. The easiest way to deal with mental illness is to ignore it and hope it goes away. What you suffer from is not a true mental illness for you are not crazy.
The best thing you can do if you want your mother to understand is to discuss this with your therapist and maybe ask mom to meet with you and your therapist and let the therapist explain to her your problems are real and how they will treat you and get you better.
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