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advice on a guy...that i used be close with..
alot happened between me and a guy..he end up taking my v card and its been 2-3 years, he ended friendship for no apparent reason..i have a opportunity to talk him again on facebook, like now i can add him and message he blocked me in the past..he hurt me alot. i used have feelings for this guy,and almost over him. i will always care for him tho. but in a relationship now with a new guy who treats me well and stuff. i feel guilty at thought of this..should i add the old guy and be friends again or let my heart ache little longer and get on with life eitherway with the new guy?
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Get over the old guy, he obviously didn't respect you as he should have.
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Ugh! I know exactly the type of situation you're in. I was with a guy and he was my first love. I thought we would be together forever and then he fell out of love with me. It was messy for a few years and I always pressured him for answers and he couldn't give them to me. It's been almost 6 years and I'm still left without answers... but now I'm married to a wonderful guy! And he treats me well - we still have our moments but I know for a fact he loves me whereas the other guy really hurt and scared me to ever be with someone again, knowing they would just fall out of love with you.
From my personal experience to you... move on. I've gone back and rekindled a FRIENDSHIP with my ex and we will always fight and get mad at each other and not talk for months and then be friends again, etc. and it's emotionally exhausting. Don't get in that habit. If you're with someone else and he treats you good, just leave it at that. It will always be the other guy's loss and for whatever reason you two are not meant to be with each other (at least for right now). It completely stinks, but there were reasons he blocked you (I've been there...) and perhaps later on in life you guys can be friends but right now just focus on what you have with your new relationship.
It hurts like hell, especially it being your first love. You will ALWAYS have a special place in your heart for him and I'm sure that's normal (because I feel the same way). But think back on the good times and if it helps you get over him, think of all the bad times too! He was a jerk! And you know you deserve way better than a guy who ended things with you for no apparent reason.
Keep your chin up and time heals everything. It might take awhile but trust me, if you're almost there don't look back. Nothing is back there--just keep moving forward.
♥
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Although you deserve some answers as to why he may have treated you in the way that he did, I can't help but think that no answer will justify his actions and sometimes guys can just be jerks (that was the lightest way I could put it). If he broke things off with you not long after taking your v card it can be concluded that maybe that was all he was interested in?
Now as for adding him to talk to him and try to be friends... if he was after friendship I would think he would have come back and spoken to you and made some kind of effort before now. You still clearly have some feelings for him and this is bad on two fronts. Firstly, your feelings for him could open you up to be emotionally manipulated by him. Although you after friendship in your heart I detect that you feel a far deeper emotion for him than just friendship and if this is true you need to ask yourself, if he was to show you any kind of romantic or physical interest would you be able to resist it and tell him no thanks I have a guy I'm with? If you have any doubts about being able to do that then it will probably be in your best interest not to message him at all because you will then not only risk your own feelings (if he does mess you around) but, secondly, you will be putting at risk your current relationship.
What you do really does depend on how strong you feel you are on this. If you are painfully waiting for this guy then what's to say he has changed? He may well end up messing you around again but this time instead of just hurting you he will also end up complicating things with your current relationship. That is, unless you feel you can handle any outcome or situation it may present in which case you can message him and see how it goes from there and if you feel something isn't right, you can just as easily block him and just move on.
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