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I need advice about my relationship with my grandmother
My relationship with my grandmother is very bad. She is not a good lady. I try to talk to her nicely but she taunts me everytime. She makes fun of people. She does comparisons among her children and she humiliates my mother in front of other people. I am now afraid of her taunts. I want to teach her right things but being younger I can't do that . I want to know how to handle her. She is very selfish also. She always gossips about others with her daughter .
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Your mother may know something you don't about her behavior. How long has it been going on? If this is recent or within last year window of time the behavior may be health related even Alzheimer's. Sudden irritability, agitation, outbursts are among symptoms as can be humiliation and lashing out without reason. She may not be a horrible person but rather someone in a state of trouble. Extreme selfishness also slots in there.
What do you do? Try to make yourself scarce and be around only when you know she's in an upbeat mood. Treat her like you would want to be treated and with the same level of respect she may not be giving you and take the high road. Tell your mother how you feel as she should be if anyone the only person to address your feelings with grandma. Let any criticism fall off you like water on a duck.
You can ask your mother why grandma acts the way she does and get an honest answer from her and what she thinks is best to handle the situation.
The only other thing I can think of if it's not health related is see if you may be taking ribbing and teasing that is normal too seriously or being really sensitive when she didn't mean for it to hurt you. A lot of grownups especially of her generation can do that and not know it hit hard.
You should speak to mom first about all of this and consider having your mom be with you as you ask to talk to grandma about the relationship and what is bothering you. Do it maturely and without yelling.
I know it's difficult but the majority of the time when people are being so unlovable it means they need love the most. Bless her in thought and action and don't apply anger you will see positive results if you do this and go about business as usual. Things will improve.
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She definitely sounds like a toxic person. It does suck being younger and trying to change someone who is older and more stuck in their ways. The best thing you can do is let her know that the things she does bother you. She may not even realize how deeply she affects you and others. If she does it on purpose to be mean, there isn't much you can do except to be there for your mom and not validate the things she says. Just understand that it isn't your job to fix her. If it comes down to it, just start to distance yourself from her. Toxic people can hurt you even indirectly. Please follow up with me if you need more guidance!
-Hollywood
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