|
friend leading boyfriend on
15 // female
One of my friends, Jess, has a boyfriend. The problem is she is telling us that she doesn't like him anymore and wants to break up with him. They have been dating for about 2 months.
The problem is that she avoids confrontation A LOT. (She thinks it's a good thing, but that's another story and that isn't really my business.) So when he asks her to do things, like go to the movies, she says yes, and then she'd tell us how much she doesn't want to. When she does that, I tell her to say no and then she just shrugs it off. She said last week that she plans to break up with him this Friday. Since then he has asked her to walk home together and sit together in class and she has said yes. Looking at the way things are going, it seems like she'll never break up with him and she'll just keep putting it off 'til the next week.
This is her first relationship, she wants to break up with him because she likes someone else.
she asked him if he likes her before she was with her current boyfriend and he said no, now she likes him again, and this is a complete speculation and I could be completely off, but adding everything together I see that
she could have used her boyfriend to make the other guy jealous.
I have been trying to tell her that she should break up with him now before it's too late and he starts to like her more and more while she likes someone else more and more, but she won't listen. I am just going to let her do what she wants to do now but I just felt like I needed to tell someone.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I understand how you feel. While it is disturbing to watch a nice person get treated this way, it may be for a reason. Learning all about the good and bad parts to dating is something we learn best by experiencing. This boyfriend may be a very trusting person, maybe too trusting or gullible as well. He may have trouble with looking below the surface of what a person presents themselves like. This will mean having a problem putting two and two together when she says one thing but does the other. It may have taken him a long time to get up the courage to even approach her and if so, he may not be very willing to go thru that part all over again right now. And this is a good enough reason for him to ignore whats happening when his senses are telling him other wise. Or perhaps he truly has no clue. Time will teach him though. I don't know of anyone still asking someone out or to spend time with them months or years later when they are continually rejected. So eventually he will learn.
]
You are right it's a situation where it's not your business to be involved even if she is treating the other guy like dirt behind his back. Even if she is using him to make someone jealous you can't say anything or it will be you that suffers her wrath.
All you can do is encourage her to do the right thing but even that is dicey as it's becoming involved. The one thing you never do is become involved between two people in a relationship as you always become the one person both despise that way.
]
More Questions: |