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follow up
I noticed that you seemed to misunderstood exactly what happened. Him and i took promises very seriously. He broke several at once, and he asked a girl to do sexual things together..(my friend who flirted with him on Kik to test him). He broke several promises. For example he told me he would only say something like "I have a girlfriend, I rather talk in a friendly way only" if a girl did this or ignore her all together. He also promised that he would tell me if a girl did this. Also, On the fake account I made, he said "awwww thank you :)" and "awww you think so?" When she called him cute and stuff. Then said "you are too". He promised when we were together that he'd never say such things. Yet he encouraged it. He also in the past told me he doesn't find others cute or pretty or hot, etc. And his excuse was that he didn't know why he did all this. That's an awful excuse. And About the chat with my friend , his excuse was that he wanted to make sure she wasn't fake based on his response. Bullshit. He asked her to do sexual things (sexting or Skype sex). It's simple and clear. And since he broke all his promises on the chat with the fake account I maxd, there is no reason to believe him. Do you see what I mean now? He broke my trust. And broke all his promises. Who knows what else he's done behind my back. Maybe he had Skype sex many times with others.
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With the extra of what he's been saying, then yes, I would have to say he is not being honest. Either that, or he's one of those humans who coast thru life without having any real goals, plans or hopes and therefore lives every day just having one knee jerk reaction next to the other based on what comes his way, without his mind in gear, engaged and really thinking things out. To be fair, all people do this at some point or another, but it's more of a getting off track from what you are actively pursuing in life, just having a bad day or a couple bad hours but not living ones life like this.
I hav e a belief that I live by now that I have learned things the hard way in life....and it has to do with other peoples characters. Lots of younger people, especially the males, do not know how to behave correctly in relationships and need a female who will train them as to whats acceptable and what is not. The males who never have their bad behaviour questioned and then ultimatums set down, will never learn. You questioned. Here's How I have done the ultimatum thing. When I was on a dating site and having lots of 1st time meetups with guys, I told them up front what I was looking for in a guy, my ground rules and boundaries. It was more of like people applying for a job position, rather than me having to be just the right person to catch some random guys interest. I made sure the ball was in my court, as far as control of the situation rather than wait for the perfect guy to notice me. I actually met several who seemed to come close and I was willing to at least date for a while to get to know better. I too caught liars, but right off the bat. One told me he didn't like coffee shops, my favorite public first time meeting place to see a guy face to face. So i suggested something else but he was busy. After a week, he messaged he had time to meet and suggested a coffee shop. I instantly thought there must be a mistake somewhere, either in what I thought I read earlier or what he meant to write this time but got it wrong. So I got on chat live and asked him which it was, did he want to meet at a coffee shop cus last time he said he didn't like those places. He wrote back angry saying he has a right to change his mind which I agreed was true but he'd actually used stronger words like
hating such places. A person doesn't flip flop back and forth within days as to what they like or don't like. So I told him right then, sorry but forget it, I am no longer interested. See, I learned with my ex husband and plenty other people that where you see something you don't like behavior wise from a person..girl or guy, that first glimpse is usually not an accident or just a situation of that person needing to learn some lesser important issues of what you like and don't want. The first glimpse of a bad trait that sneaks through a crack in that polished nice persona they show is just a signal that there is more of that where that came from. So that means a person doesn't lie just once or occasionally in life or without the truth or facts which is just as bad, but a person either has a habit of lying or not. I blocked that guy. He changed his profile to a different name and wrote me again the following week pretending to be a new person contacting me but the idiot stuck the same photo of himself in there so I knew it was him and without talking to him, blocked that one too. When ever we use the internet to find and meet someone, this is the more difficult route to getting to know a person thouroughly inside and out. However, the internet is the best tool I know of to come to know of the existance of a good possibility in a mate, cutting the longer version of hunting for a needle in a haystack deal. Therefore, if you choose to continue to use the internet, it may be best to use it more as a tool to learn of some special guys existance and then asap meet in person and continue to do so. Texting that is so popular today, even writing in text on line is a far cry from talking in person where we gain other versions of communication besides just speech, but tone of voice to know when someone is serious or teasing, facial expressions and body language. These can't hide whether a person is truly interested for one thing cus humans will use the right body language even if most of us are unaware we do, its a built in instinct. I wish you the best for the future.
I don't have a cure for the hurt. But it will fade in time. In the meanwhile, study anything you can to learn more about how to gauge a persons character, dating and relationship training info. The more I learn and I still study it even tho I have my sweetheart, I find all these bits and pieces of info actually help in dealing with people in other types of relationships as well. When you feel better armed with info, then eventually when your heart is healed you'll be ready to try again but without the fear of the what if things go sideways. That kind of thing will always happen even to the smarter of us, and has to me too...I've been fooled...but the point is that no one has been able to fool me for long and I don't think they can do that to you either. It takes a lot of personal energy to keep up a false persona and those doing this eventually run out of the time and energy to do so. It lasts usually a few days, dates, weeks up to a couple of months if the two spend a good amount of time together. Two months of knowing a person but meeting only once a week is not going to compare to 2 months of seeing someone 3 times a week plus time on the phone as well. You get to know the person better sooner. But this is really for in person face to face.
Lots of the social apps on the net are too easy to use for someone who isn't all that serious of finding his one and only. I never used kik, twitter, tinder, faebook or any others to meet guys, just dating sites. I would have used a pay for dating site if I had the money but didnt at the time so used the free ones. Anything free where a guy doesnt have to invest anything to find a girl has to be considered as not 100% chanced that you can find a real good guy there who is ready to find his mate for life and have kids with her if both so wish. So a pay for site means the guy is more serious cus he is investing money into his search. From what I have learned since, Match.com is the best for a reason, it is very thorough in the questions it asks of people and then uses an extensive system to attempt to match you up with the most likely individuals that are exactly what both of you are looking for. These are the kinds of men wanting to find a gal to marry, to find their one true love and companion. If you want a better chance at finding the next guy, I'd suggest to start there. If you'd rather find someone on your own, at least decide which of your hobbies are most important to you and join clubs in your area to meet others with the same likes, hobbies, beliefs, etc. this is more of like the hunting for the needle thing again as there is no guarantee that there will be any eligible men coming to that club. Then there is meetup.com not a dating site but activity site where you can learn online what groups are meeting in your area. I hope this helps some.Good luck in the future dear.
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