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Did the judge have the right to dismiss my restraining order against my ex?
Two days ago I had a hearing to make a temporary restraining order I had put against my ex permanent.
My ex had stalked me, always showing up up wherever I was and paid somebody to see if I was at my workplace. He called the police and made a fake report to find out if I was at home. He even broke into my apartment and I woke up to him standing over my bed furious.
He threatened to rape and kill me which I had in text messages.
He would chase me if I tried to get away from him and block my way.
He would harass me calling me every minute of the day for hours on end (I have call records of this) and leave me crazy voicemails.
He told me multiple times if I left him he would kill himself and even acted like he was going to jump off the side of the parking garage we were on, one night I was with him if I didn't let him stay the night.
I had evidence for all of this, but the only things the judge would look at were the texts. She didn't look at the call records or the two police reports I brought with me. She would barely let me talk and just acted like it was a bad breakup. His lawyer presented a text I had sent him months ago when we were still together where I sent him a heart and thanked him for sending me cupcakes and she acted like because I stayed with him for four months that it was my fault he did those things to me instead of breaking up with him earlier.
She wound up dismissing the case because she said I had "insufficient evidence" that he would hurt me in the future as he had moved to another state and I've moved to another city, but I still feel like this isn't fair. His lawyer even told me he was having the case sealed so nobody would ever know I tried to take him to court. He got away with everything he did because of a bad judge...
What do you think?
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I mean at this time, I do not know what options you have. If he has moved to another state and you know that for a fact, I know it might still not be fair but that might be better and make you feel a bit safer. I had an ex do the same thing as well but sometimes having a lawyer helps and sometimes the person moving out of state gives the judge the thought of being fair to both parties and dismissing the case. If you still feel unsafe or think he is around you still and want more advice specifically... don't hesitate to email me at sfwadvice@gmail.com. I have my own advice column and would love to help further if I can. Best of luck! sfwadvice.wordpress.com
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If you went to court without a lawyer then this is what happens. Take your evidence to a lawyer and ask the lawyer is you can file again or appeal the Judge's decision. Then if it is possible pay the lawyer to do what is needed to get the restraining order.
Should you be unable to afford a lawyer go to the clerk of the courts and ask for a court appointed lawyer. You can also go to legal aid and ask for help.
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