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How can I be the calmest person ever?
I admire the thought of being the calmest person ever. Like whatever usually makes a person angry, I could be absolutely, totally calm about. And when I talk to people, I want to always be calm. When things go wrong, I want to always be calm. When someone insults or yells at me, I want to always be calm.
I already do subliminals and they're helping a lot, but I want to know more on how to be super calm. I want to be known as the girl who's always super calm.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Being calm when things don't go as you may wish is a good trait to have but not the only one. Aunt Em is correct that stuffing feelings will end with you blowing up. If I pick thru your choice of words, I don't think that you have an anger problem per say. All of us have days where our patience runs thin and we may tend to snap as we speak. But heres a few things I have done most my life to remain calm and also full of joy/happiness.
You were also told of how the thoughts you think can make you make a certain way you don't want to feel. That is a good point and one I use often. Most people tend to think more negative thoughts than positive ones and it takes way more positive ones to cancel out the effects of bad thoughts. Your thoughts will eventually affect your actions so that if positive you will have positive emotions but if negative, it will be negative emotions like anger, and such.
So the first thing I would suggest is you take this seriously also. Take a day and every time you have a negative thought, make a hash mark on a notepad and keep score. You'll be amazed to see how often your thoughts drift to negative stuff. Its too easy, like driving by a car wreck and the next thing in my mind is wondering what happened to cause it and if that might happen to me. And the inward scene then goes to being in the hospital with near death experience or loss of a limb or something. It happens in seconds and all of a sudden I am not as cheery as I was before these thoughts. Catch the bad thought as soon as it appears and replace it with a better one. As the days and weeks go by, you'll find you have less and less of the negative stuff that spoils your mood.
I have found two things that could threaten my mood, one is people and the other is just bad luck of the day with one thing after the other going wrong. I'll start with the people problem first. Iits more about having an understanding and being empathetic with the end result being a calm person. The way to do so is the simple trick of placing yourself in the other persons shoes. If someone snaps at me, I would wonder if they are having a bad day, maybe they have a parent who is dying, their car broke down and getting around is a hassle now. When I dont focus on me but the other person, I am actually allowing positive emotions to flow. I will ask how someone is, encourage people, let them know I'll be praying for them, etc. When people know that it isn't an act and you truly care, their mood will lighten and change. Well, most people. There are a few people in this world you'll come across who are just plain old angry mean unhappy people and nothing ever makes them happy. Its almost as if they thrive on unhappiness and drama. In this case, I will suppose that something happened to them to change them into mean people cus babies aren't born mean and vindictive. Its what they see growing up, their childhood or perhaps things that happened to them, maybe a crime victim, an abused child or spouse, etc. and then I will thank God that i don't have those situations and find I am not angry at the person who is being negative towards me.
Another thing that helps is realizing you don't have to convince everyone else when you are right. Some people are narrow minded or think within the box and anything else just isn't so. I've got a brother in law like that. He'll hear a convo with my sis on things we believe in and make his negative comments about fake and weak minded, etc. I remember, its not for me to educate him or prove anything to him. I will look for any slight thing to let a person know I understand where they are coming from and give them credit on any little concept that comes even close to where I stand. When it comes down to it, all of us were given a free will and the freedom to express it as long as we aren't hurting ourselves or others.
As for the string of bad luck that can cause a person to lose their cool and calmness, I remind myself out loud so my subconsscious hears and takes this in...."The bad thing is already done and worrying or crying is not going to make it go away so worry, or anger is actually a waste of time." Think about all the good things going on today or in your life and realize things could have been worse. When you remain calm, its easier to find a solution to whatever isn't going well.
Hope this helps you dear.
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Meditate, detoxify your body, read the power of now and the 4 agreements.
One time I had to be super zen and something that would normally upset me was subsided by telling myself "If I couldn't think these thoughts (the thoughts that were upsetting to me), I couldn't feel these feelings." And that really let me step out of just reacting instead of just observing.
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I’d love to know why this is so important to you. Do you tend to have a bad temper or do you just want to create an image for other people? Being calm all the time may sound great but you might find that you are suppressing your feelings instead of handling them. When people do a lot of this, they sometimes end up “blowing up” eventually. It is a healthier goal to acknowledge and understand your feelings but not let them "run" you. That is much easier said than done. Many people act calm but are just covering up their intense feelings. Having feelings of all types is part of being human. It's how you manage them that helps you to be calmer.
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