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How do I tell him I'm pregnant?
I just found out I am 8 weeks pregnant with my (ex?) boyfriends baby. We both wanted to save ourselves for marriage and then we took it too far. That is why we decided to take a break. I am going to be a senior in high school and he is going to be a freshman in college. He doesn't really talk to me anymore, but his mom and I are still really close. How should I go about telling him I am expecting his child?
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First of all, seek legal consultation. While you may want to do this simply without lawyers, the fact is you have already said that your ex is not very responsible. It sounds like you want to give your ex a bit of slack in this situation, but you are now a mother. You have to think of your child's best interests first. That means you have to have a legally binding contract which states that you get custody and that your ex owes you child support. Without this, your child will not have the financial support it deserves. Moreover, your ex could take you to court for custody later, which would be extremely complicated. Better to get the legalities out of the way first. Seek legal consultation before speaking to your ex. I'm not saying you should take him to court before talking to him, though. Just go for a consultation before talking to him to make sure that you have all your ducks in a row.
In terms of how to tell your ex that you are expecting, the best thing to do would be to ask him to meet you for coffee or for dinner and break the news there. Tell him you have something important to tell him. Then just say it. It is what it is, he is responsible for his reaction, not you. Let him know you are keeping the baby. Tell him what you expect of him in this situation. Let him know that while you do not expect him to be a perfect father, you would like him to be in the child's life.lso, do not be shy to tell him what you need from him financially. He may not be a very responsible person at this stage of his life, but it is time for him to grow up now. Regardless of his maturity level, he is obligated to provide the child with child support. Then, tell him that you have saught legal consultation and tell him what your lawyer's recommended course of action is. Be open and friendly so that he knows you did not seek out a lawyer for any negative reason, only to get the court's opinion on what would be a fair amount for child support, custody, etc. Try to work together.
If your ex freaks out or does not cooperate in a co-parenting plan, you need to take him to court. This is about your child's best interests, not his moood.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
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Be straight up. Dancing around the subject will do no good, the baby has a life the moment it was put into your tummy. So starting to think whats best for that child right away is going to be the best. And the best for the child would be to let them have both mommy and daddy in their life.
Waiting for marriage is everyones ideal image. But sometimes things happen. Thats life. Dealing with not only the expected but also the unexpected.
With religion comes faith, and in the case of what is happening with you.. faith is what should guide in knowing that things happen for a reason and that everything will work out for the best.
Hang in there and don't stress and worry too much. Baby is sharing that body with you!
Parents tend to freak at first, sometimes even fathers freak at first. But most of the time, after the storm comes the calm.
Good luck! And Congrats :D
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The best way to deliver this type of news is straight out. If you can do so in person then I would suggest you do so. If not then call him if you can or as a last resort send him an Email.
If none of the above is possible or if he fails to acknowledge you should you have to tell him by email or he questions he is the father. Then since you are friends with his mother I suggest you tell her. In fact I believe you should tell her yourself in any case. She has the right to know you are carrying her grandchild.
Now you have some other things you must do to protect you and this child if your intentions is to keep it. You may or must be hoping he will do the right thing and marry you. Don't count on it. He isn't talking to you any more because he got what he wanted and is moving on.
I'm sorry but that is the way teenage boys are. They will tell you anything you want to hear to have sex with you. Once you give in most will move on to another challenge. That and the fact that he is going off to college gives him a new world to play in.
What you need to do is see a lawyer and to have the proper papers drawn up for court orders of support for the baby. By law he is required to share the cost of raising this child until it is 18 years of age. He must pay child support, provide medical and dental support and other things the laws in your state may apply.
Without these papers executed in court he is under no obligation to do this. His parents may say they will do this for him so he can remain in school and they may do so but they are not obligated either. TO put it bluntly; he had his 5t minutes of fun and now he must take responsibility for the results. The courts can order him to dos so. IF he fails to do so you have recourse through the courts.
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