|
humorist-workshop
look very young
I'm 25 years old, female, and I've always had a very young appearance. It never really bothered me before, but in recent years, it has effected my career. I wouldn't say I look 12 or anything dramatic like that... but I look like if I was about 19/20. I have a master's degree and ever since I can remember, I always wanted to be a teacher. I received my bachelor's in early childhood education and worked as a teacher's assistant for two years. The first year, I really don't think I was prepared. I was not very confident in myself and I was going through some very difficult things. I had a loss in the family and a health issue of my own.
But, then I worked in another classroom where I had a horrible experience with the co-teacher. I feel like I wasn't taken seriously by a lot of the other professionals because I looked so young. I'm 5 feet tall. When I was assisting a fifth grade teacher the first year, a lot of the students were taller than me, especially the boys! And they really didn't respect me very much. Sometimes, they would get physical and push me around. Like I said, during this time, I don't think I was ready for that job. I allowed a lot of things, primarily, because my health did not support me putting up a fight.
I recently started working in an office. We were conducting interviews for potential employees to fill a vacant position. One girl had all the credentials. She was the most credentialed in the entire group. She was immediately dismissed from a second interview, simply because she was "too young." Mind you... I don't know how young she can be if she already has a college degree and a few years of experience. If anything, she may be a little bit younger than me, like 23 or 24.
I would like to go back into teaching. I really miss the children. That is my passion. Working in this office is so incredibly boring. There's no passion. I'm just constantly bored. I would love to wear heels every day, to give me a bit of height. But, I fear that in doing so, I may not be able to keep up with the children in activities, such as the playground, where I may have to come to the aid of a child immediately. I am a caring woman. I know how to be firm as well. But, I don't want to have to change my entire personality to be taken seriously. It seems unfair that a tall person can be kind and caring, yet be taken seriously, while a short person has to become the Trunchbold from Matilda (lol).
How can I get people to see past my height? When I was working as an assistant, there was a father who complained that he didn't want his children in my class because my size resembled that of the children. I had the older kids (sixth-eighth grade) ask me how I got a job there and how old I was. I had first graders call me a midget. I mean... it really did hurt my self esteem. I work in a university now. So, because people are adults, height is often not an issue. It is assumed that people are different shapes, sizes, colors, etc. So, I don't put up with a lot of discrimination. But, it's not fair that I have to give up what I most love because of my height.
Suggestions please?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Self confidence is the key. I know it wont entirely cure all people from thinking you may be unfit to be a teacher due to looking too young or being too short but it should cut out a lot of that.
First, I do agree that to some extent, you will have to battle with the looking too young to be trusted to be an expert in your field. My ex wanted to work as a financial advisor for people. He worked in an office where another new guy was about his age but went bald early. This sent a subconscious message to investors that this other guy was more experienced so anyone coming into the office didn't want my ex as their advisor. You will like the fact you look young when you get older. But for now, perhaps you could find a makeup and wardrobe expert who can help you with obtaining the older teacher look. It may involve makeup, how you wear your hair and even the type of clothes you wear. Thats all you can do right now, a more professional look.
As for being short, I have a retired school teacher friend who is shorter than me, at 4 ft 10 and did teaching her whole life and never had the problem you do with height.
Now I'll go into explaining the miracles of self confidence. You may have confidence in knowing your stuff. But I hope you will agree that you aren't as confident as you can be, that you will be received well due to your height and youthful looks
Self confidence is not a tangible thing. It is more like an invisible but very real energy pattern others do subconsciously pick up on and even choose their actions by, what they say and do.
I will give my personal example to show how this works. I was shocked at the results but this goes to show that what I am saying does really work.
After a divorce, wanting to get into dating again, I felt I needed a self confidence booster. I believed once people got to know me and who I am inside, no problem. But I was older now, almost 50, and could I attract attention visually?
I didn't have the confidence in my own looks so I borrow confidence from a celebrity. I decided first what my best feature was, my eyes and thought of a female celebrity with similar eyes. We see most celebs as looking confident for camera's and most are. They get attention everywhere they go, simply for being famous. So I imagined myself as actually being her and whereever I go, people would notice me for my eyes. I would dwell on these thoughts each time i left the house or before entering a building or room somewhere. Then I would forget about it and focus on what I was there for. It came as a shock when both females and males I didn't even know would approach me to compliment me on having the prettiest eyes they'd ever seen. Half the time I wasn't even wearing makeup! See, nothing had changed physically about my eyes to all of a sudden be getting this kind of response from people.
So I am hoping that this principle will work for you too. Think of an actress or celeb of some sort who is short like you and looks much younger than her actual age. You may have to do both separately at times. Picture yourself as looking like that celeb with all the confidence and attention and respect they get, yes don't forget the respect part. Keep picturing that image and saying those words like an affirmation too. I am sure you will see peoples attitudes towards you change as soon as they can pick up on your confidence the way a radio picks up on radio waves. Gain the confidence in other areas of work until you've had lots of success and no longer need to use the image in your mind of looking like that celeb. Its only a borrowing of confidence until you've had eno ugh positive experiences that your own self confidence kicks in. I truly hope this will help you. And I'd love for you to write me in the future to let me know how it worked for you. Good luck!
]
More Questions: |