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humorist-workshop
Does He Like Me
Hello! I am 17 (about to be 18 in a month), and I have recently been talking to a family friend who I have known for over 5 years now. I graduated high school in May, and he came up with my cousins to go to my graduation party. We have known each other for so long because he's been my cousin's best friend since they were children, and he is almost seen as part of the family at this point. They live a few towns over (about 3 hours away) so we see each other a lot at family events, but not too much otherwise. Since my graduation party late May he has reached out to me on multiple occasions just to talk. He gave me his number, and we've been texting a lot this past month. He is usually always the one to initiate a conversation by texting first, and he throws in a lot of flirty compliments really nonchalant. The other night he told me I was stunning, and he loves how much I make him laugh. He pays so much attention to what I like, and he is always throwing in little things he remembers about me into the conversation. He also told me that he can open up to me so easily, and that a future with me in it is a bright one. He's very cheesy, but I adore that childlike sense of wonder about him. I think the biggest issue is his age because he's 23 (which is a big age difference for me). I really like him, and I enjoy how fun it is to flirt and talk with him. I don't expect this to necessarily turn into something so I'm going with the flow to have fun with it, but there's a small part of me that hopes it could potentially turn into something more. Am I being naive to think that an older man would want to be more than friends with me because he genuinely cares for me? In the hypothetical situation anything did happen it would be strange for my family because of how close he is to my cousins and my uncles. Is there any way to work around that or would it be smarter for me to stay away from the situation altogether? I understand he is in a completely different stage in his life, and I am also understanding that I may just be asking for trouble by getting myself involved with him. Thank you for listening, and I appreciate/am open to any advice! :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm still very close with my group of highschool friends and we are nearing our 20 year reunion. Of all my friends and myself included we have been either married and/or in long term relationships that all ended badly. Coincidentally just last week we were talking about our failed relationships and questioned why we never tried dating our good friends we grew up with, the guys that are genuinely nice guys that know our families well and who's family we all know and love. We seemed to always look for something new, different, and perhaps exciting rather than looking right there in front of us.
I tell you all this to basically say, I think it's a great idea to pursue a relationship with your good friend. You aren't going to be risking the chance that he's putting on an act pretending to be something he's not. You already know his history, and his family. You'll already have so many memories and things to reminisce about. If for some reason it didn't work out I think the ackwardness will quickly run its course and leave you right back as friends. However, based on what you said it seems like he sincerely cares for you and wants to move forward towards something more than friends. It also sounds like you're being smart about this by taking things cautiously and slowly. Enjoy and appreciate this exciting time in your life. And YES, he definitely likes you to say the least.
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Its not important between those of legal age, as to how far apart in years a couple is, but more importantly if both are mature and there can be a meeting of minds. When it gets to the point of a generation or two of difference in ages, there are very few with that great a difference in ages that will find they have anything much in common.
Since he has somewhat known you growing up, I don't find it odd at all that he feels comfortable with a 5to 6 year difference. Since your cousin is close friends with him, and the whole family knows him, I don't think he'd risk treating you badly and falling into disgrace with the whole family.
I believe you would be safe to at least start seeing him as friends and get to know him better. Because you are younger and have more exploring yet to do as to what you want to learn and do with your life, hopefully he will allow you to do that without forcing you to make any decisions about him sooner than you are ready to. If he does, remind him to think back to where he was at when 17/18 and that you need time to just experience life before making any real decisions such as he hinted at with the future in mind.
You could always ask your cousin what they think of him as a guy, not a friend but a potential date as he has shown interest of that kind towards you...and see what they have to say.
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You are right, it is easy to be someone else over text messaging, and to act differently when family is around.
My advice would be to start hanging out together as friends, and see how you feel about him as you get to know each other better.
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