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Where to turn
22 f my boyfriend is 23. We have been dating for almost 2 years and we live together. Recently, things have been rather rocky and I could forsee the relationship ending within the next few months. I want to make things work, but he doesn't and he goes back on his word all the time.
Here's where my issue is: I'm so broke right now I would have absolutey no way I could afford to go elsewhere. Neither of my parents are involved with my life so I don't feel like I have somewhere to go and like I said I absolutely do not have the financial means to live elsewhere because I have a car payment and am also a full time student.
If our relationship is over I want to have a plan on where I can go...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ask yourself if you are more into living with the boyfriend for having a place to live or because both of you are in love with each other. From what you said, it sounds like he isn't. All relationships have rocky moments but if we're mature enough, we will forgive and move on, not hold grudges, fight fairly, (yes there is such a thing, mainly the words we use) and be able to mentally place ourselves in the other persons shoes, knowing that we too aren't perfect but being more understanding and not willing to sweat the small stuff. When we truly love someone, then its much easier to do those things. IT takes two people both wanting to put in maximum effort to make a relationship happen. Relationships are work, not all fun and games. But it must be balanced. When it pertains to a marriage or some long term relationship, couples may go to a couples counselors for help on pinpointing what the relationship problems are to better the relationship. When its dating for a handful of years or less, the importance of the relationship and whether its worth doing e verything to save it, usually doesnt apply or only one person feels this way. Short of couple counseling to even determine if there is a chance for your relationship, it's likely better to move on from him.
I know you need time to find another living arrangement. What I don't know is whether you were paying anything towards sharing of rent or not at all. If you've been staying for free, then it will be hard to find another place or some person who will let you stay. I know a female who is almost a sr. citizen and she's been without a home often and the only way she finds a place to stay for free is by finding men who want her for live in sex. So basically she's having to trade her body for a place to live. Once it gets bad enough, she leaves and finds another guy so she's always hopping from one guy to another. If you need a place for free, then if you have a church, I suggest you talk to the pastor. He could announce your need for a place to stay for no cost and see what happens. My oldest wanted out of the house so bad that when she was a bit younger than you, she asked at her church and they found her a place to stay where the older lady had a spare bedroom.
Along those lines, here are possible options if you can only afford very cheap rent. Rent is sometimes cheaper in the suburbs, big cities are expensive. SO try looking for ads of people wanting college students to rent a bedroom to with sharing of kitchen/bathroom. I tried finding a place like that for my husband and myself when he broke his leg and we lost our apt. What we found is no one wants couples but college students or single professional workers to rent out to. This would be the cheapest way to go
Or start an ad at the school you attend, talk to a counselor there to find out all the different ways to get your ad out at college, whether a bulletin board, printed school newspaper or school online facebook or other internet school site. Use them all and mention you are looking for a room mate, what you can afford and see what happens. My husbands daughter found a roommate who was male and they had their separate lives, just sharing the rent for a long time but after getting to know each other and seeing each other often enough, it did develop into a dating relationship. But she had her Dad and his older wiser intuition of that male to know the guy was a man of honor and wouldn't force himself on her. That would be a hard thing for any female at your age to be able to determine fully. Theres a chance things can go wrong there.
You mention having a car. So think of any relatives, even cousins on their own, who may live reasonably near enough to the school so a commute wouldn't be so bad. People commute an hr to work, why not school is its your only choice. If the families of any girlfriends from high school live close enough and you and them were close, try networking with them, maybe older siblings who know you may be needing a roommate or their parents have spare space so you could stay with them. Other than all this, I do not have any other suggestions other than the one you may not want to do but find yourself forced into...giving up the car and using the money that went to payments for paying a little to rent with some people together.
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