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craving hugs
For the past few weeks I have been craving long hugs all the time...like I just want someone to hold me and not let go for a few minutes
But my parents don't do long hugs...all I get is a quick squeeze before bed and occasionally in the morning. If I try to hug them for longer or more often, they get annoyed(especially when it's hot outside) or think there is something wrong...there's nothing wrong, I just really want a hug
And my friends hug me, but school is over now, and I'm not gonna see them all that much, maybe once or twice a week.
What should I do? Can I stop myself from wanting hugs? It's just that I start feeling really lonely and kind of anxious when I don't get the hug I want....
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You may think it bizarre that you crave hugs but there is an actually good explanation for it. Our body was wired to require certain things to be present in good numbers for it to function at optimum levels and food and water is only some of them. For our emotions to remain stable and to be happy, our bodies require endorphin which are neuro-transmitters. Endorphins are produced as a response to certain stimuli, especially stress, fear or pain. They originate in various parts of your body -- the pituitary gland, your spinal cord and throughout other parts of your brain and nervous system -- and interact mainly with receptors in cells found in regions of the brain responsible for blocking pain and controlling emotion.
What you need to know is that theres a whole list of actions that you can take that will start the body creating neurotransmitters (NTs) naturally. ONly a few people can't and medication of endorphin substitutes are what help them. If our levels of endorphines drop or become non existant as they get used up, a person is said to be depressed. So we need these NTs to being feeling good. Your natural instinct has led you to one of the best things that boost production of more endorphines in your body, and that is hugs, but not the short brief pat on the shoulder type. Talking about the long bear hugs. If someone is willing to give you a hug, try making the hug last longer than usual and you will see the other person start to squirm and want to pull away if they are not used to experiencing great amounts of endorphines released in their body. There are other things that also produce it, like movement of some sort in exercise, so workouts, jogging, dancing can produce it, same as watching comdedies and plain old laughter, or singing or listening along to whatever songs/melodys actually that cause this effect in you.
So you have a couple choices, one being to show this to the parents and have them do some research on their own and even if they dont need or like the hugs, that they might be prompted to give the long ones to you simply because you need it. It doesnt mean anything is wrong or that you are depressed, just that your body wants to keep up the stock of endorphins. Endorphins, like food isn't a one time thing and you're good for life, the nutrients of food get used up in our bodies, and the same for the actions we take that cause the producing of more endorphins. We need more all the time because the ones we already have get used up in fighting the stressful things in life.
If you don't want to show this to the parents, I would suggest you turn to some of the other avenues that help create endorphins in you. I've already mentioned them but knowing the exact type of comedy guaranteed to make you laugh hardest is going to help alot whereas another type may do noithing at all to create that endorphin rush, knowing endorphins are being created right then in great numbers...its kind of an instant thing.j
Same goes for music. What works to you to produce that feeling like your heart is as light as a balloon ready to float away depends on what melody does it for you. Not talking about the lyrics here, the sound of the melody. Some notes played in sequences will have a positive effect on people. For example one of a handful of songs I listen to if I feel I need a boost is Coldplays song "Clocks". I play it perhaps 2, 3 times in a row and by the end, I'm already feeling better. Most people do not recognize either consciously or subconsciously that their body is at a point of needing to restock/refill on endorphines and for some reason, subconsciously your body already knows and that is why its so important to you.
Lastly, have you ever seen people with sign that state "Free Hugs" and others take them up on it. The people going for the free hugs already understand how it makes one feel better and I have never gotten a short insignificant hug from them. This is not something to do alone as it would be too dangerous in this current day world. But if you did this together with friends in a very public place, or if you and the parents were out somewhere, and you choose to wear a sign that read Free hugs, they could be protectively watching over you. Either way, at some point, wether they give the therapeudic hugs or just give their okay for you to give free hugs, it would be best that they know.
You cannot give away a hug without getting one in return, so the free hugs deal is great but if you crave it on a daily basis, the once or twice a week with friends is not going to cut it.
Hope this helps you out a bit.
Dragonfly
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