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Still lost
Thank you for the advice. Thing is, Mom's kinda abusive to me psychologically. I was more worried about how to say it than when. Should I just show up with a gay guy and introduce him as my boyfriend and let her figure it out? I get so tongue tied when I try to talk to her about anything...
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It's important for you to understand that there are no "shoulds" in this situation. Your mother does not have to know who you are dating. To be honest, it is not her business.
That being said, if you would like to come out of the closet to her, you certainly can. As for moi, I have to warn you though, parents can freak out when their expectations are not met. Take my situation for example. When I told my mother that I was marrying a frog, she burst into tears and said "I had always hoped you would end up with a nice young boar." This strained our relationship for years. But, the good news is that she eventually came around because she loves me. It just took her a really long time because she is a stubborn sow.
You know your mother best. You know whether or not it will be safe to tell her and whether or not the risk will be worth it.
As for how to tell her, I think the main thing is to remember that her opinion is not that important. You can't live your life for other people. Telling her casually as described could work well because even if she does freak out, the reaction may be milder. Another option though, is to just tell her you are gay privately.
This isn't easy. Just pick the situation that works for you.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
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