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Depressed..
Hi 17/F .. I'm just going to get right to the point. I love my best friend, we are like sisters and my whole family love her. We play hockey together and her mom is an employee at my mom's business. My mom pushes me really hard at practice and in games. I play because I want to prove to her that I can. I asked her to make me an appointment at the physiotherapist(R250) because I have a lot of problems with chin splits. She said no I only want to waste money. At our match saterday, 5 min into the game, my friend fell and hurt her arm. My mom took her to the doctor while I was still playing( I was sad because I really was playing my heart out). Her treatment was quite expensive(R1000) and my mom just gave the money without hesitation. She keeps telling my friend how good she is doing and she only screams at my for 1 or 2 mistakes. I don't want to talk to her because then she will be very very mad. PLEASE help me. I cry every night.. I just want her to also love me and see what I'm doing..
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Your mother was kind to take care of your friend and be supportive of her. Though it seems obvious to you, it's possible that your mother doesn't even realize how differently she treats the two of you. We have a tendency to develop blind spots with the people closest to us. Especially with family members that we've been with for so long. It may be that she pushes you harder than others to succeed, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It may mean just the opposite, in fact. I understand that you don't want to upset her by bringing up the difference in the way she treats the two of you. You may want to say something to her anyway, so she knows how you feel. When you talk to her, don't be confrontational, and don't accuse her of anything. Tell her you love her and you're worried that she might not love you. Don't be angry. The more you accuse someone of something, the more they feel they have to defend themselves, and that leads to negativity and bitterness. Just try to be honest without getting upset. Instead of saying, "You treat her better than me," say something like, "I feel like my hard work goes unnoticed," or similar. When you talk about yourself and your perspective rather than about her and her actions, she's less likely to feel like you're attacking her. Help her to understand your feelings and where you're coming from, but also keep an open mind. You should pay attention to what she says and try to understand her perspective as well. The better you understand each other, the easier it will be to communicate without getting angry or hurt. I know your feelings will always come into play and things won't become perfect instantly, but perhaps this will help you to explain your concerns to your mother without stressing out over it too much.
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