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I would like help with my depression.
I am a middle school girl and I suffer from severe depression. I experience suicidal thoughts on a regular basis, and find it hard to go for a night without either crying, self-harming, or making an attempt at my own life. I have been bullied for appearance, sexuality, and various other things. I only have one friend, who often times gets me depressed as she also suffers from severe depression. I have attempted to make more friends many times, but to no avail. I'm too scared to tell anyone or ask my parents for a psychologist. What should I do?
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I am so sorry you are going through this.
I have experienced depression but on a smaller scale so I am just going to put some things out there.
Are you happy with your overall appearance?
Sounds like a stupid question but really think about it. Are you wearing clothes that you like? or are they what you feel will be acceptable?
Maybe you have long hair and you want short hair?
The point I am trying to make here is that if you are not being your true self that can make you depressed or add to your depression.
The other thing that I recommend you doing is sharing this with your parents. I know you are afraid and you have every right to be this is a big deal but if you dont get some help things will get worse and your life is so valuable!!
Maybe you will be able to work things out with your parents to start.
See if you can join some new activities that you are actually interested in. Some in school and or some in town. That should relieve some tension and you may make some new friends.
Dont be so hard on yourself.. life is tough but you can do this! and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Good luck to you , i hope you start feeling better soon you have s much to live for!xx
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I'm in Middle school too and I have a friend very much like you. I don't know what it's like to face suicidal thoughts but I can tell you this, It doesn't matter what other people think; It doesn't matter what other people say; All that matters is that you are you! and that you feel confident about who you are! Last year I had no confidence in myself. I learned that having no confidence in myself led me to thinking negatively. Then, this year, I realized it doesn't matter what people think, it only matters what you think about yourself!
HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER, BEAUTIFUL!
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Hon, let me tell you as a mom that I still feel real badly that when my daughter started HS, she started having depression and she never told me about it. We only found out when after her first baby, she has post partum depression appear on top of her regular one and thats when she felt like killing herself and her baby even though she knew it wasn't right. We got her in to see her Dr.
I just wish she hadn't needed to suffer all those years in silence. Your parents love you and would feel the same. It is even worse when parents lose a child to suicide. They begin to blame themselves, even tho as in my case, there were no symptoms to see whatsoever and she and I talked all the time, just not about that. Many marriages split up when grieving parents can't get over the grieving and guilt and blame each other instead of leaning on each other in such a time. So if you do nothing and if you have any suicidal thoughts as you wrote, then its serious and not saying anything greatens the chance they would be grieving your death in the near future.
I would also like to mention that since you are in middle school, its a time where most kids are starting or still going through puberty and for some girls whose hormones are too high, instead of just being more emotional, they can become depressed. So it might be a contributing factor.
So I highly recommend that you say something to your parents. Its not your fault you are this way, its beyond your control to do anything about to make it go away. And it doesnt mean you are lacking or broken in any way. The hormone thing happens to a good amount of girls these days and depression is becoming very common place too and I can't say I blame anyone for feeling that. The world and society today is a much harsher, terrible place than it was when I was growing up so its not surprising that so many have depression.
As for being scared, it is normal to be scared of something that you feel greatly but know nothing about, let alone whether you can be cured or lead a normal life. How normal your life will be will depend on alot, what you do tell the parents, they need to know about the bullying and go talk to your principal about it. Bullying is not being tolerated by adults in charge in schools these days if they know about it. You may fear retaliation in which case, the school still needs to know to deal with the bulliers and the parents switch you to another school or perhaps home schooling or a private school like a local Christian school. One of my daughters went to one for a while. Kids will still be normal kids there but the rules are stricter and enforced and parents involved not only in giving time to help in the school but in agreement with the running of the school. Even if religion isn't your thing, it would be the safer place for you.
I want you to show my response to them. They may have their own stresses in life but they love you. so you may see great concern on their faces...as it should be, dont feel guilty about that. They would rather have the chance to deal with helping you any way they can than deciding which casket to buy for your burial.
One last thing I'd like to share, more for them is that I have learned more since my daughters revelation of having depression. I have discovered that there are Psychologists today whose treatment plan is more personalized to the patients real needs. Medication may be used but as a last resort if other methods do not work. One of these methods written about, CBT cognitive behavioral therapy helps both anxieties and depression. I used to have severe social depression as a kid and teen. My last year in high school I was tired of being so shy and lacking confidence. So I prayed and asked God to tell me what to do, see...asking for advice like you are doing here. What I was told to do cured me. I was surprised to read a book recently by Dr. David D. Burns in which he wrote about a recipe for overcoming social anxiety (among other things) and it was exactly the same thing as I had used to get over mine. So if you take care with finding just the right psychologist, it can be a good thing rather than automatically being given drugs where the side effects are just as bad as the depression. If you or the parents are interested I have a link to a website for Dr. Burns. He teaches people about the possible cure out there to give them hope. He is just one person and cant see all but perhaps if the parents can't find a Dr. who used CBT and other therapies, you might find a referrel from asking on his site. Here it is and good luck to you all, Tell your parents hon.
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