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I'm madly in love with my best friend
I am madly in love with my best friend, we've known each other for almost 5 years now and I've lately been growing stronger feelings for her, but the thing is, she only sees me as a brother, and her boyfriend has been nothing but good to me. He's been helping me get out of my depression as well as helping me find a job (since I've been jobless for almost three years now). She and I live together which makes everything even harder for me. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Since she already has a boyfriend, anything you say or do right now would be interferance in an already established relationship.
Also it puts great pressure and stress on her and your relationship with the boyfriend. You already know how hard it is for you to live with her while having these feelings. Imagine her knowing how you feel and now having to live with you daily. She will feel awkward and uncomfortable. How would her boyfriend feel and how likely would he be to feel comfortable with you continueing to live with her after that announcement or even his willingness to help you?
What has happened is that you've been friend zoned. I can't say that even if single, that she would feel chemistry and develop romantic feelings with you if the situation were right. But something that you are doing or more likely not doing, is what sends the message of friendship only with no thought of anything romantic. In longer term successful relationships, it is important to be best of friends but number two is also having that romantic chemistry, it can't be one sided, but both feeling this.
The time to make your move if you get a chance is when the two of them are no longer a couple. And in the meanwhile, check on the internet, you tube for info on how to not get friendzoned.
Often the friend is so afraid of losing their best friend that they silently love the friend but never give off any clues as to how they feel and unless shes a mind reader, she won't know. Or you have trouble reading her, signs like from body language, also lots of info on the internet, watch some youtube videos that have people acting out the body language people use if interested that way. Right now with her mind on bf, I am sure there are no signs towards you and by now she probably assumes you have no romantic feelings towards her in 5 yrs time.
Women tend to wait for the guy to make the first move to kiss or do something to close the barrier and get cuddled up next to her, touch her in ways that are flirty but not overt. So add to your list, watching videos or reading up on how to flirt. A favorite one is to pretend to pick an eyelash off her face or some debri out of the hair. Dont just lunge for her, just say, :Hold still, you have something on your face/hair and then make the move. Right now, it isnt a good idea to do these things. But you need the time to learn. If she is young, then she is probably still learning about relationships and this probably isn't her final one yet. So wait until your chance comes again if it does and be ready. If it doesnt, you will know more to deal with the next girl you fall for.
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