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i have crush on one boy in my school
im girl, in 3rd year in high school and im shy....i really like one guy in my school..he is about year older than me so he is in 4t grade but the problem is that we dont know each other obviously...i just see him on hall or on some school events sometimes..i would really like to meet him but im shy and also how can i start talk to him when we are in different year...i know that some of girls in my class him have him as a friend on facebook.im not that outgoing as girls in my class so i dont know many people from higher grade...i would be weird if i added him on fb and he wouldnt have known who i am...so what should i do ...the next year will be last on the school so...
and i know valentines day is coming and on valentines Day at our school we are sending each other in whole school some messages and i thought if i should send him one...should i ? wouldnt it be weird ? and what should i write to him...please help me
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As long as you suffer from shyness as I did as a kid and teen, you will not stand out and seem interesting to the guys. The only girlfriends you have are most likely those girls who approached and befriended you first, as happened for me.
Shyness is now called by its true name, social anxiety. I never had any other anxieties. My Dad was outgoing and Mom was an introvert and shy. I started out being like Mom but wanting badly to be more like Dad. There is a way to do it but the steps are initially scary to contemplate however once you face those fears, they disappear. If you ever want to know the steps to get rid of your shyness, let me know and I'll share them with you.
I can tell you from experience that if you haven't been able to talk yourself into approaching any guys to talk, then the one that counts most as you like them most are going to be even more intimidating to approach unless you've learned to be outgoing, and gain self confidence which I can add if you write asking for that help.
Valentines Days is not something that will switch on instant bravery in your mind because I can say from my past, that all my issues were in my thought life, distorted thoughts that you can easily learn to overcome and control and change for positive ones. A test was done on adult men to see how they responded when in a room with women of all types of looks but the test was on self confidence in the women. The men gravitated to those with self confidence over the looks when it came down to looking like models or average women. The men all said they found the self confident attitudes to be sexy. Are you attracted to the quiet shy wallflowers for friends, or even in guys? I'll bet this guy you're fixated on is not shy and has at least some self confidence.
Ask yourself if some nerdy guy you have never noticed in school, don't know, never met or talked to sent you a message on Valentines day, would you think it sweet or wonder why if he really liked you, couldnt he be brave enough to come talk to you in person? Me, I'd wonder the latter. I'd also wonder if he only had enough guts to finally write on Valentines Day and i'd never get another word out of him. Hon, I've met adult men who couldn't hold a convo, even with encouragement and me starting the topics. People want an ease of conversation, one that just flows when speaking to someone, not having to carry the whole convo or a convo that keeps dying and having to pull words and answers out of a shy person.
Have you asked yourself what you would do if by some magic chance, this guy did respond to you sending him a Valentines message, no matter what it said. If he starting talking to you, would you feel terrified, or all of a sudden relaxed and ready to respond back? I know myself, and using an event or trick like that never worked for me because the source of the problem wasn't dealt with yet, my mind and its thought processes that kept me socially anxious and shy.
In the end, writing him will make you feel worse more anxious even if he responded. I understand you wanting help as to what to write and if you should but in my opinion, thats like putting the cart in front of the horse, you're not going to get far that way. And the stress of trying to pretend to be someone you currently are not, meaning not confident and outgoing, would destroy your chances, things go sour, he loses interest or dumps you quickly and That will mess even more with your self confidence and that could cause you to never want to ever try again, remain single for life or become depressed at worst case scenerio. I have no cure for you in time for Valentines day. But what I speak of worked for me in about 2 months time, being fully cured. I learned it from another source at the time but its now used by psychologists who use the Cognitive Behavioral therapy treatment to teach any people suffering from anxieties or depression and it works for almost all.
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