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He is sending mixed signals and its so confusing?


Question Posted Sunday January 31 2016, 10:56 pm

So i have this friend lets say his name is John. Me and John have known each other for two years now. We are in high school (both 17 juniors) and we started being friends freshman year. Everyday he makes it his goal to tease me an make fun of me (playfully of course) he even takes my stuff. Last trimester i used to have like 3 classes with him. One being Algerbra. In algerbra i sat next to Johns friend and we used to laugh and joke around and just talk while doing work. Every time we were in a convo John would butt in asking what we were talking about and what was so funny. He will eve shush us to be quiet. At one point he told me to come over to his desk (after class was over) so i could be away from him. The guy i sat next too was friends with John. He told me that John has liked me for a long time. John doesnt know he told me. There has been this other person that told me that John thought that i friend zoned everyone and will never get in a relationship with anyone (I have never had a bf before and im just selective.) I get so confused with John because he acts like and treats me like we are friends by teasing me and joking around all the time. But then he gets jealous. He hasnt really shown any interest in me romantically atleast not openly. He did ask me to be his Valentine last week and to go to the movies. I agreed but i just feel like he is only confusing me even more. Rarely we text and when we do its like half the convo is teasing me and the other like small talk. I just feel like i am forced to think of him as only a friend because that's all he has shown me. I cant take him seriously. Back in freshman year someone asked him if we were dating we started laughing about it and he even told me he couldnt take me seriously because we just laugh/joke all the time (even though hes the one that starts it). Here it is 2 years later....does he still feel that way? Or was that just a cover up back then? Since freshman year i have matured a lot. The constant teasing and jokes come across just immature and gets old. I feel like if he really was interested in me he would put in a little bit more effort. Maybe he is scared of rejection? I rejected his friend and hes told people that the guy asked me out 3 times and i rejected him (not true). The guy was crazy possessive and wouldn't leave me alone. I'm scared of going to this movie with him because i feel like it will be so awkward. Like he will have nothing to say besides the teasing he does. I've never been on date before and definitely never been on one with him. I just don't know what to do. Does he even like me?

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Monday February 1 2016, 12:14 am:
Sometimes he sits so close to me. Like no personal space. He also cant hold eye contact very long. .

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Dragonflymagic answered Monday February 1 2016, 1:44 pm:
Does he invest so much time teasing all the other girls in school? Is his teasing known and experienced by many others? If not, then you can rest assured, he's teasing just you because he's interested in you and it isn't some kind of personality trait of his you'd see everywhere with everyone.

So if he's interested, why hasn't he had real convo with you instead of teasing? Young men who haven't dated much or have little experience yet understanding girls really haven't a clue how to talk to women. Some men never learn as I discovered after a divorce when I joined dating sites. Grown men in their 40 to 60s were writing me and had no idea what to say.

So your guy is trying to show you in all ways he can, even body language, that he is interested, but won't make the first move and ask you out for fear of rejection AND the fact he hasn't a clue how to talk to a female and what they like to talk about. Likely he fears that the moment he stops teasing, that he'd say something stupid in real conversation and ruin his chances with you.

It really takes the lady breaking the ice for the guy, especially if she is interested back. So if you really like him enough to want to get to know him better, how about you asking him if you both could hang out together. No matter what he says, you could say, John, I have checked around and but all the clues you are leaving, intentional or not, I know there is some kind of interest in me. I like you too, and I do enjoy teasing but I don't like it to be the only interaction I have with a person. I would like some real conversation with you. If you haven't a clue what to talk about or how to talk with a girl and thats why you only tease when you say anything to me, I want you to know, I'd be happy to teach you how to talk with me, and with girls. I promise I won't get upset if you say or do things wrong. As long as you are willing to learn and not treating me on purpose, we'll get along.

Usually when I face my fears, they disappear right away. He may not know this and heres your way of helping him do the same so he can discover that you are interested in him too.
The inability to hold eye contact and wanting to be really close space wise to a person are more signs of a persons interest in you. So go for it girl!

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