|
humorist-workshop
I Think My Brother's Girlfriend is Pregnant
Hello, I'm a fifteen year old girl who lives with my father. My brothers live with my mother and the one in question is not the brightest bulb on the tree.
He abandoned my dad 8 months ago because his slutty girlfriend didn't like his rules and ever since then, he's become cruel. He never parts with his girlfriend and is willing to put his life and relationships at stake for the sake of his girlfriend.
My dad's girlfriend has a theory about her(she's a nurse); she thinks that my brother's girlfriend may be pregnant.
I am starting to agree with this, both of them are eating like pigs and getting fatter by the month, she walks so weird, has a pear shaped body, and is an emotional wreck.
My brother and his girlfriend are almost 18, but still too young to consider a child. I don't know what to do. I don't like children, but I can't let something so fragile and influential go in him and that...thing's care.
I need real, adult advice, anything helps.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
ok....first im gonna give you some insight on other peoples lives here.
You are young but feel the sooner you know all this the better and it will help you as you go through life if you keep this info in mind.
I too have a brother (older) who has chosen his fat disgusting girlfriend over his family responsibilities and shes not pregnant.....shes just manipulative as hell, and she does something for him (and we may never know WHAT exactly) that keeps him tied to her. we THINK its because he mentioned in passing before that he "didnt wanna be alone" and he meant "in life" like NOT having someone. He thinks that he'll never find someone else and that its too late to start over with someone new and that could NEVER ever, be further from the truth.
I have an 80 something year old grampa, and he STILL has girlfriends ok....AND their just as old as him (or maybe just slightly younger) but not that much. Whatever your age its ALWAYS ok to have at the very least just a companion.
anyway, back to your brother. I understand not liking the way his life is going, i understand wanting to save him, or find SOME kind of way to get him back on track so to speak.
The truth is (and heres the clincher so pay close attention) We are ALL on our own life paths, your on yours, leading your own life, your dad and everyone around you are all making choices on a daily basis that defines and results in the choices they each make for themselves.
Sometimes your going to cross paths with good people and some with bad. The good people will stay for longer, the bad (hopefully will not) but its up to everyone weather they want their path run along side someone who is toxic, unhealthy mentally, or manipulative like she is.
The thing is, people who CHOOSE to stick along side people who are like that are basically "standing still" in life for someone else. Everyone moves at the pace they are READY to move at, and forcing them the try to move at the pace YOU move at is only going to cause friction and them lashing back at you in a negative way. You can air your concerns with that person, tell them youve noticed some changes in them that worry you and the family, and TRY to get them to talk to you but if they arent ready then theres nothing you can do. He has to make the choice to move on when HES ready.
heres my personal theory ok: if you want to stand still in life and never improve, better yourself as a person, or grow and adapt, then thats ok. But also be aware that the clock is ticking and the world is going to continue to spin and grow and change all around you WHILE your standing still...get me?? so you can either worry about yourself and all the things you have to deal with in life already and make health choices for YOU, or you can stand still for someone else, and never move forward because your waiting for your partner because they arent capable or dont want to move WITH YOU or you can move on and find a partner who wants to move with you, grow with you, and change together.
Until your brother decides to do that then for right now he is standing still, hes idle, and hes meerly just keeping himself busy and focusing on her instead of himself. I know that It seems unfair and it is. Its unfair that he would put himself through that, and its unfair that she would have such a grip on him that shes basically just holding him back in life.
HE has to recognize that though and then decide to put his choices into action. This take a while to him to do and you cant wait around for that to happen, you have to all continue to live your lives....
I realize that you dont like children but really its not up to you, its his life and if hes going to make bad choices then thats on him, and at the end of the day, you get to go home and you dont have to deal with all that, he does. If things are dysfunctional, they will eventually break up.
good luck sweetie ; )
]
More Questions: |