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I am unsure what is actually going on with me.
I have crushed on this guy since 7th grade. He's absolutely perfect. We started talking last summer, but then I went back to my ex and told the guy I was talking to that my ex came first because I had strong feelings for him, even though my ex was not the better pick. So i left the other guy hanging. Me and my ex broke up and then I started talking to the other guy again. I was head over heels for him, even when I was with my ex. After we talked for a while and got to know each other, we started dating. We have been dating for almost 3 months. He's so amazing. He's the perfect guy. But i'm not sure I want to be with him anymore. I have doubted this since a couple days after we started dating. When he's away, I always have thoughts about breaking up and I question if I really like him. I could go without texting him. I hate that I think that, but I do. And I am not sure if those are just thoughts or if I actually feel that way. But I want the thoughts gone. I'm convincing myself that I don't want to be with him and I don't want to do that. I don't know how I avoid that though. I think about it every day. I do know that what I liked about my previous exes was they played hard to get. And i liked that because it made want them more. My boyfriend now doesn't do that. He spoils me so much, and I don't really like that. I wish I did, but I dont. Am I just spoiled and unappreciative? I want us to work. I thought maybe it was a phase, but it has lasted a long time. I cry almost every day over it. I've wanted him for so long and it was just so easy to get him. I dont like that he chases after me. What is going on? Am I insane or what? I always wanted a guy to treat me right, now I have that and I miss the chase. What is wrong with me!! Please help me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
My guess is you want a level of excitement in the relationship. Some gals translate that to the guy being the bad boy type, the one who is hard to get and that creates the excitement. A guy who is wonderful, the kind of guy who makes a good boyfriend, may be too predictable and so you tranlate that as boring. this happens to more people than just you dear. And while it is a normal occurance cus it happens often enough, it is not always a healthy one. At your age, you are really just starting to learn about relationships, the hard way, by experiencing them. However, there is no such class as 'relationships 101' to make this process any easier. therefore most your learning is going to be by experiencing the dating and the guys. Only real problem is when the female goes about this aimlessly, with no goal in sight, no real idea of what the heck dating is for in the first place and not really understanding even herself good enough to know what she needs and wants in a guy.
Lets say you have a dad who is an alcoholic and yells all the time and acts hateful towards you and other family. You wouldn't want more of the same from a boyfriend. You'd look for a guy who is a kind and gentle and uplifting in how he talks to you, is patient with you, understanding, and never raises his voice to you. Having a list of what you like and dont like and refining it after each relation ship by adding the things you liked about the last guy but also the things you want to avoid in the next guy is the smartest thing to do. this will work best once you're out of HS and the guys and you more mature. But for now, you can still learn, just don't be too disappointed if too many guys are immature.
theres a saying among adults that a man like a woman who can be the prim and proper lady with manners in public like at his company dinner or at church, etc. but he wants that same wife to be a total sexy vixon behind closed doors at home, who loves to seduce her man.
Ask women what they really want in a guy to be with the rest of their life and not get bored with, and they basically want the same thing. they want a good provider, a man who is stable in all ways, thougtful and remembers special dates and is very good to her all the time. A kind gentle guy. But she doesnt want kind and gentle in the bedroom. Like guys, she also wants the kind of guy who always comes after her with passion, on the wild side sometimes, unpredictable and surprising her in the bedroom, the kind of man who would at times dominate her in bed.
You are but 7th grade, so far yet from the point of having a life time mate like that. But I am thinking that for some reason, you may already be having these kinds of feeling early. Don't expect this much from guys at this age. Only date the ones who treat you well and wont drag you down into things like drinking and drugs or stealing or gangs, etc. Thats just dumb stuff, not exciting stuff. In time, you may find that the book worm quiet type of guys, the nerd types as my hubby describes himself, are in private, the most exciting men you could ever be with. You get the best of both worlds, a guy who treats you right but can flip in private, to the guy who is funny, entertaining, exciting and passionate and yes a bit wild at times too. Guys at your age dont know how to be both but the quiet seemingly boring guys who dont s tand out in a crowd, and arent part of the popular crowd can end up the most exciting...trust me.
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