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Insecurity
I'm really insecure in my relationship because of what happened to me in my past relationship. He cheated on me after 4 years together.
Now I feel like I'm much more paranoid in my new relationship. Every text he gets, every snapchat he receives, I'm thinking "who is that" becuase I'm so insecure from what happened to me in the past.
How can I try to overcome this? I know I need to try and take his word for things but I just can't help and feel like he's going behind my back doing something he's not supposed to. It all stems from my past relationship and how hurt I really was and how it just shattered my trust with any guy. My boyfriend reminds me how much I mean to him and how he would never do anything to ruin our relationship. I feel like if I keep being this insecure though I will ruin what we have.
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Insecurities like this happen especially when you have been hurt in the past, it can take a long time to be able to overcome them, especially the paranoia that comes with them because of the fear that the next person will do the same thing.
In a way you are right though, if you continue to keep pushing your insecurity may end up being the reason things fall apart. The best thing to do is be honest with your boyfriend and talk to him about how you feel. I assume he knows what you have been through so just explain to him that it left you with a lot of trust issues but you are trying to work through them and you don't want to ruin what you have with him so there might be times you will just need him to be patient with you. I think as long as you both are talking about things it'll be okay. Did you give yourself time to recover from such a harsh relationship? It could be that you moved on far too fast and not gave yourself time to be able to heal and get over what had happen.
Is he open with you about messages he gets and such? If he is then it should hopefully make things a little easier. If this feeling becomes a serious problem then you can always try and speak to a councillor who will hopefully be able to help you come to terms with what happen and hopefully move on from it. You were hurt emotionally quite deeply and something like that takes time to heal. It will help though if your boyfriend knows what is going on with you and tries to ensure that your mind is kept at ease.
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