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Roommates
In the beginning of meeting my roommates I liked them but then I began to distant myself when I heard one of them talking about me. That day I became distant and was never the same towards any of them. Well, fast forward it time to leave for break and everyone making plans to hang except me. But, the weird thing is I had dinner with my roommates and their friends, it was just weird and I just felt like I didn't fit. It is not like they never tried to befriend it's just I'm not use to being around people all the time. At home, I don't have a social life but my roommates do. I feel left out because I am not included but when I am included I just feel weird. I am not use to being around a ton of people. I prefer a small circle. What should I do? I also avoid them because everyone is clicking but me. I having thoughts like why don't I have many friends? What's wrong with me? But, then I don't want a ton of friends but I want to have a couple of friends. It so hard, I am sort of alone here.
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Since you have the problem no matter what the circumstances, or situation in which you find yourself, I would at least venture to say that the issues or problems lie with you. And it seems you aer unaware as to what it is you do or dont do that contribute to not connecting with people. In personality seminars I took oncce long ago I discovered that 80 to 90% of people are approachable and friendly. Those who are loners or wish to be left alone and are not friendly are very few. However of the greater % of friendly people, again a good majority do not reach out or make first contact or chat with a stranger but open up and are nice and chatty once someone else starts. It could be that this is part of the issue. I dont know you so I cant really tell. Asking your family for helpful insight may not work as they are so used to you they may not see it either but its worth a try. If people knew you want some constructive criticism, then some may open up and share what they see or have an issue with. If many answer with the same topic over and over, then you might have a clue where to start working on it. But I would still suggest seeing a professional counselor who can help you with relating to people and finding why you feel you dont fit or feel no connecting to others. It could be as simple as distorted thinking which is easy to resolve. You did say you distanced yourself after hearing them talk about you. I used to have great social anxiety so if someone was talking and I wasn't a part of the conversation, or someone looked at me before talking to their friend, I always assumed the worst. I felt no one liked me and all were critizing behind my back, etc. Those are distorted thoughts and that process leads to one taking the kind of action you did, such as distancing yourself. It is fine to prefer a small circle of friends, thats part of your unique personality, and I am much the same still even though I learned to become social and be able to interact with whomever I wish to. I am not a doctor so I can;t help you with the process but I do suggest you seek out a professional trained in CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. I hope this will help you. Good luck.
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