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Hello.....It's me
A month ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. We loved each other more than ever, we saved each other's lives countless times. Along the way, her depression kicked in, and she never felt the same about us, and expected me to give everything up like it was nothing. So I tried, I tried countless attempts of fixing things, which later lead to the exclusion of her life altogether. I'm left to rot, another 15 year old guy, with depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide. I know, my friends try to help, and this isn't all her fault, I'm just different now. And I want to die, but I know I have to keep breathing for people who need me. Please don't recommend any type of therapy, nothing helps, just please give me advice about how I'm supposed to keep breathing. Thank you, sorry this was so long. I'm sorry
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Well first let me just say that im so sorry your going through this right now. Life is hard enough without having to worry about a partner and THEIR problems or baggage on top of your own, so it was very brave of you to try to make the attempts you did to fix things and coming here was a step in the right direction. Good for you for reaching out to whoever you thought could help. Thats never a bad idea.
Next We're gonna talk about your girlfriend or (ex) rather. This is something you will discover as you get older and something that ends up happening with every single normal functioning adult. This is also the reason why as people get older they "dont have as many friends" the reason is because in life (even day to day life) there is only so much you can take on at once. This is included but not limited to your own responsibilities, commitments, and feelings ALONG with someone elses.....be it your friends, parents, or potential life partners AKA your now ex girlfriend.
There comes a point in every persons life where they have to learn to distance themselves from people who have issues they just dont have the resolve to deal with BECAUSE they already have things of their own to worry about without the ADDED complication of someone elses issues.
It sound to me like you did everything humanly possible that you could and in a relationship the other person is supposed to meet you halfway. She couldnt because of her OWN issues (whatever they may be) and this caused the self implosion of the relationship. This was so bad that it shook the foundation of things between you and she could not deal. Thats not at all your fault, you made a valiant effort but you cant be in a relationship with someone who cannot give you their 100 percent the way that you are giving it to them. Its not fair to put yourself through that, and it honestly sounds like you deserve and good do better.
Next, lets talk about whats happening within HER right now.
Obviously if she really wants the help she so badly needs, she or her parents will find a way to get her that help. If you want to be helpful you might even consider talking to her mother or whoever she lives with and telling them that your worried for her and shes been acting odd and your wondering if she might need some help "FOR HER OWN SAKE because you care about her even if your not together"
I know this is going to sound tough but all you can do right now is love her from a distance. Let her know that your still here for her if she ever wants to talk , but it sounds like she needs to figure out some things in her head right now and get herself straight.
Lastly i just want to give you a little piece of advice about young people in relationships. Sometimes when you dont know what a healthy relationship is yet, people will invest WAY too much of their feelings into that person that they are in love with even though the other person may not feel as deep of a bond or connection as you are yet, and they end up going so far out on a limb emotionally that they find themselves standing there alone because of it.
So in the future try not to let your emotions rule you, people who are ruled by emotions and not by logic are often times unstable and irrational and live their lives moment to moment and dont know how to look beyond today. Look towards the future and get yourself straightened out so that you can attract healthy people who have their lives together and want a man that does too. (not that i think you dont but this is for the sake of conversation here) ; )
Youll be ok, just remember that your were never joined at the hip, keep living your life, you dont have to date right now, take some time for yourself to work on yourself, go do fun things with your friends, and time will pass, your heart will heal, and later youll look back and think "man what was i thinking?!"
good luck ; )
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What type of therapy have you had that doesnt help?? It depends on the therapy often. Just talk combined with medications doesnt work for most people. There's another type of therapy that does have better results and doesnt involve medication. There are psychologists who use this treatment, cbt Cognitive behavioral therapy. If interested, let me know, I'll give you more info.
As for the girl, it doesnt work for relationships if one or both suffer depression. Cure the depression and then there is a chance.
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