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Boyfriend shares a pet with his ex
I'm 24 and so is my boyfriend. We have been dating officialy for a month now. Things have been great there's just one thing that concerns me. He shares a dog with his ex. Its "their" dog not just one or the other. The dog stays at his ex's because thats where he grew up as a puppy and they didnt want to confuse him. Hes almost 2 now. My boyfriend doesn't get to see him much because he's been busy with school and hockey. His ex will text him though when she needs him to watch him. Or if the dog is at his ex's moms house my boyfriend will go over there and let him out and play with him if nobodys home. I just don't like they still have this connection through the dog. My boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his ex and only talks to her when its about the dog. But his ex will text him random things and it's not only just about the dog. I'm just uneasy about the situation and I've told my boyfriend this and he's asked what I want him to do but I feel like there's no option. I'm not going to make him cut off contact with his ex becuase then he won't be able to see the dog. Any suggestions? He's tried telling her to only text him when it involves the dog but she doesn't listen. I think she's still in love with him.
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If you have never owned a dog or a cat then you may not understand what I am going to say. These two animals are like someone's children. When a couple splits up the these two pets can be the cause of a custody battle just as big as if they were actual children.
Would you feel as you do if the situation involved a son or daughter? I don't think so. You need to look at this situation as if this situation was about a son or daughter and react accordingly.
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Unfortunately, the right suggest here is for you to manage your feelings, not the situation.
If you boyfriend is setting the right boundaries, then he is doing the right thing. They DO have a connection through the dog, until one of them choose to 'abandon' the dog to other. For many dog owners, that sort of complete abandonment of a pet is unthinkable. Even if you know the pet will have a good life without with your ex. If you put your boyfriend in the position where he is feeling pressure from you to give up that dog that is going to cause unhappiness and strain on your relationship.
So trust your boyfriend. It's tough, especially in a new relationship, but trust him to manage this connection with his ex in a way that is respectful of his relationship with you. It may be tough to do, but it really is that simple. There is nothing else he can do, and there is nothing else you should do.
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