|
Help me choose between two events!
Hello everyone!
My mother and my ex-boyfriend (whom I am still very close friends with) are both attending work parties on the same day.
My mom asked me to go with her, because my dad's not a huge fan of these events, and because she thought I would enjoy it. Her work party is large, held at a nice hotel, will feature speeches from the founders, will have music/drinks/food, and is formal. Most of her coworkers are are in their late 20s-beyond, and I'm 20, so they're older than me. She told me that my dad would go with her if I decided not to attend.
My ex-boyfriend's party is smaller and not as formal, but should still be nice. It will be held at a restaurant and will also feature music, food, and drinks. His coworkers are closer to my age. I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend, but he doesn't have feelings for me, and because of this tension we sometimes don't get along well. I have wanted to go with him to an office event for a while.
I did tell my mom I would go with her first, but she's understanding of my situation with my ex and doesn't mind what I do.
What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To me the answer is simple; you go with your mother. There are any number of reasons why this is the better choice.
First: The fact he is your Ex. Would he be inviting you if he had a current girlfriend to invite? I think not.
Second: The tension between you that you speak of. How can either of you, especially you have a good time given you are not on great terms with each other.
Third: You say there will be drinks at this party. Alcohol loosens inhibitions. What if one or both of you have a bit too much to drink, it is possible, and you start fighting with each other. If that happens you can ruin the night for everyone else in attendance.
Going with your mom means no tension which means you are going to have a better time to start with. While moms party may be more formal it is also nice to get dressed up once in awhile. Last but not least dad will owe you one for letting him sit out this party. All in all I think going with mom is the better of the two for you.
]
If he had a new girlfriend, would he be still choosing you to accompany him instead of her? I dont think so. That relationship is in the past. Its really hard to spend much time in the company of a once past boyfriend and try to remain just friends. You'd be stuck the whole time just wondering when it was going to get awkward between you.
So whats the bigger concern, age? or some wish you had in your mind to attend such an event with him while he was your boyfriend. We all have wishes and yearning for things that never pan out. You'd be going with him more for experiencing what you wished and hoped for, not to give him a date. So, its like him using you, an ex to have a date, and you using him to fulfill a dream? Doesn't sound promising.
On the other hand, age isn't a matter with Moms office party. You're 20 and it sounds like there are plenty of people who are only 10 years older or less and that is close enough an age gap to find things in common to chat about. If couples can marry and survive 10 yr or less age gaps, you can survive an office event dear. Besided, Mom asked you first and being able to dress up really formal sounds more exciting to me. Enjoy going to Moms office party.
]
You should go with Mom.
Don't hang out with a guy who says he doesn't have feelings for you, but still tries to snag you as his date to a work function! That just spells disaster. If you are broken up, be broken up. If you wanna be friends, be friends, but friends don't go as dates to work parties. That's weird and needlessly complicates your already complicated relationship as exes! Not going will help you leave any remaining feelings behind, and will help him realize it's not fair to ask you to be a stand-in girlfriend when he thinks he wants a date for a work thing.
]
More Questions: |