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I like him but I dont know if he is interested. Mixed signals?
I'm interested in my guy friend (both early 20s). We met over a year ago quite randomly. If I didn't have a boyfriend and he wasn't seeing a girl (who he was really, really into) at that time perhaps there could have been something, maybe? Unless he was just flirting.
Anyway, we caught up the other day with the plan to eat at a food festival that night. To me, it felt like a date (because I like him) -
we fed each other food like a cute couple, he paid that day, drove that day. We had a chat with the couple in front of us when we were lining up for food and they assumed we were a couple too.
There was physical contact that day also; had his arms around me a few times, around my shoulders like a cuddle, touched my waist.
When we were walking back to the car there was a street band performing, we stopped to listen and he had one arm over by my shoulders to my neck from the back, to which I reciprocated by holding that hand. I was really shy/nervous so I didn't make eye contact.
Now what I'm confused about is his actions versus the casual conversations we had earlier in the car. He is a loud/confident guy and I'm a quiet girl... He jokes a lot but it's always about girls or being single - those related topics. He seems to really, really like girls... in general.
He noticed I painted my nails and had my hair down (something I literally never ever do) so he was teasing why I'm trying to impress him. I asked 'is it working?' He says "not really".... (Ouch). At one point he asked "Are you interested in anyone? Well except me, anyone else?". These sort of conversations are normal to him, his quite open and acts pretty cocky as a joke and knows it but I really don't know if it's a joke or not most of the time.
I remember him saying he would ask a girl out if he was interested since there is nothing to lose. So is he not asking me out because he only sees me as a friend? I know he likes loud girls but that's all I know.
After dropping me off I gave him a hug and got out of the car. He didn't hug me back...but he said bye when I got out.
We don't have those daily casual, random conversations via text or anything that people do when they like each other. In fact, he doesn't even reply to texts. I don't text him unless there's a reason to ie. To hang out, otherwise I'd probably look stupid for trying. So its hard to get to know him when his not reciprocating. I'm assuming his more of a guy who talks in person than behind the screen.
I don't have a problem with asking him directly and sure it's easier to get a straight answer out of him since he is pretty open. But I would rather leave that as a last resort. I just want to be sure that there's a chance or if he is just flirting.
I do apologise for the long post. I just wanted to be detailed to get good answers. Second opinion/advice/input/anything is appreciated.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You met over a year ago before the catching up hang out together. In all that time, did you ever find out if his status has changed in a year? Is he still with the other girl? Thats the important piece of info. You either forgot to mention it here or you never asked him. If he's still dating the other, then no matter how he acted, he's not available and if he soon were to be, I wouldn't date someone who goes beyond just flirting with words. What he did with you is definitely the kind of stuff a committed couple can be seen acting like. At the end, he was cold, no hug back so perhaps for him it was nothing more than a fun flirty excursion away from his girlfriend.
Has anything changed in the years time for you? What happened to the boyfriend, is he gone, cus is so, you are available but need to choose the next guy carefully. I am sure you want the kind who is free to date, not committed to a sweetheart so if he's still with someone else but acts this way with you, no matter how much you like him, this is way more than just being a gregarious, outgoing confident person. If I were you I wouldn't be too eager to get into a committed relationship with him, just observe him closely. What you might do is invite him to bring his girlfriend to an outing with you and your boyfriend. If he says he's no longer dating her, then you'll know he's single. If you have a boyfriend that you are in love with, then it doesnt matter how many men in the world may flirt with you in your lifetime, your commitment is to your guy. If you are dating to find out enough about your goy to decide if you want to make a commitment to be his only girl and he's ready to do the same with you, thats what dating is for. ITs the investigating stage about a person before you commit to a relationship. Just because 2 people see each other exclusively but have not made a commitment to be a couple long term or for life long doesn't mean they are not available to check out other people such as spending time with hanging out, on a date. When seeking my 2nd husband thru a dating site, I met lots of guys and went out a few times with quite a lot. I told each one I was still in the checking out guys stage and that by agreeing to go out to dinner with him did not mean I had yet decided to chose him, that I would meet with and spend time also with anyone else who wrote me until I decided. Of course we're talking older adults at this point so they were more mature but not a single guy had a problem with that. So what needs to be determined is whether you are truly uncommitted to anyone whether dating or not, whether you can see yourself with your current guy if any 10 or 20 years from now. Most women do not want to find a guy who will only date for a year, or 5, but not forever unless thats all they want is a social companion, at which point a social boyfriend is just that, someone to do stuff with but theres no committment. These are my thoughts on the subject.
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