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I can't stop self harming!
Self harm has become a big part of my every day life for 4 years, that was when I first started doing it. I've been doing it ever since and I can't stop, how do I bring myself to do it?
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Self-harm is very addictive and after four years (which is a very long time) it can become part of your daily routine and without it you can feel completely lost. A lot of people say that they cannot get through this without support and help - although it's true that help and support is a positive thing, a huge percentage of the work put in to help you stop harming yourself comes from you. It's clear that you want to stop - otherwise, why would you be here? - so, it's important that you write down every reason why you want to stop doing it to look back on whenever you feel like doing it. If, however, you relapse, it's perfectly normal. But, if you do, write down all the negative feelings you get from it and how bad it made you feel, and remind yourself of that next time you are considering it. You've been doing it for four years and it has only added more pressure and more problems into your life, right? So you need to convince yourself that there is no point carrying on doing something that helps you for, what, 5 minutes before the guilt kicks in? Find healthier ways to deal with your underlying problem (whatever it is that made you want to cut in first place, if the problem is still there, of course) for example; exercising. Find a hobby, something you enjoy, and replace the negativity of self-harm with the positivity of your hobby, whatever that may be. As I said before, most of the encouragement needs to come from you, and you only. You need to convince yourself that you can do this, because even though it doesn't seem like it, you can.
The release you get from self-harm doesn't last very long before the guilt kicks in and then you realize what you've done and feel even worse, it's not worth it. In all honesty, I did it for six years and I got nothing out of it - it didn't get rid of my underlying problem, it just made it even worse, adding more problems to it. I know that when I told people they always told me ''go to the doctor'' and that annoyed me because people think that's the only way through this - it's not. So that's why I'm not telling you to do that; as good as it would be to get some help (and you could/should) most of the work comes from you. Yes, having people around you who care is an important factor, but the most important factor is loving yourself, and telling yourself that you can get through this. I'd say that it's extremely important to get your feelings out, because keeping things bottled up is so bad for you, this leads to emotional breakdowns which almost always leads to some sort of self-harm e.g. cutting, suicide attempts. It's so good that you have decided to go online and find some help, praise yourself for that! And anyone else who is reading this because they are hoping they can stop soon, too, well done just for reading! You have no idea how proud you should be because you've already taken the first step - wanting help, and looking around for it.
Self-help is the most effective form of help because only you know you and only you know how you feel, and you can trust yourself more than you can trust anybody else, right? If you are thinking of counselling, medication etc. - great! But, please keep in mind all the things you have to do at the same time in order to really keep up with staying clean from self-harm. Even though it's been four years, it's definitely not too late to stop, it's never too late! And as I said, give yourself a pat on the back for even coming here to find some support and help. Remind yourself that you can it, and imagine a happy life without the need to self-harm in order to actually be happy. Whatever you do, just don't give up. You may have relapses, yes, of course, a lot of people do! But that doesn't mean you have failed, or that you're back to square one, it actually will probably make you more determined. Avoid set-backs if possible but if not then it's okay, you haven't failed and you can still do it! If you cut by self-harming (the most popular form of self-harm) then throw away anything sharp in your room that you could possibly use. Try to tell the people around you so that you have someone to turn to if you feel like doing it again. It's all about believing in yourself.
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