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I'm happier without him
So me and my ex brokeup 3 months ago and a month ago we stated talking all over again and say we love each other. but we talk like every other day so in these days thet we don't talk I feel unhappy, because all I do is waiting for him, to text me or call me. and when he does text me or call me,all we do is argue. a week ago I even thought about things that I shouldn't think anymore I was that Depressed.I told him that the best thing to do is that I'll text him so I wouldn't have to wait on him all day to text me, And he didn't text me back,and since then i haven't texted him and I feel so much happier and I'm getting back to the happy and fun person I was.what should I do because I have feelings for him but I don't think it's love. I know that he will call me soon and I don't know what to tell him help please
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All I can say is that you should make up your mind. You brokeup earlier and still all you do is argue. My dear, you told him that you will text him so you wouldn't have to wait on him all day and then you texted him. His reply is still awaited.
Can you calculate your importance in his life by looking at this scenario. You need to understand the happy feelings you have now and follow them. They are guiding you towards the right track.
Long story short, its always good to find a person who loves you rather than a person you love.
Good luck. I wish you remain happy the way you are right now and I hope you know what's bringing you this happiness.
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I can't tell say what your feelings for him are, but I've personally had a relationship where the drama, negative feelings, and obsessive thoughts filled me with this intensity that normal life couldn't match. It can be a kind of high, for sure. It was my first boyfriend and I'd never been in love before, so I was just hooked and it made me miserable. I'll tell you the shorthand that would have made my whole dating life easier, and might help you with your resolve to move on--5 to 1.
Dr. John Gottman found that happily married couples have ratios of 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative episode. If I had evaluated all my relationships by that metric, I would have picked my husband right from the get-go. We build each other up, encourage each other to be better, and communicate in positive ways; the intensity we feel for each other is just intense happiness the large majority of the time. I'm not saying it was my former partners who were at fault, but we didn't bring out the positivity in each other.
Even if you're not looking for marriage, this metric can be useful in any relationship. Staying together happily means the same thing in dating as in marriage--being supportive of each other and feeling safe together. Drama is exciting (and addictive sometimes), but when you know what you want to accomplish in life, you want a partner who helps you accomplish more outside the little cocoon the two of you have, and constant conflict will distract you from becoming all you can be.
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