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Help geting out of a rut
I am having a difficult time getting out of what I think is a rut. I feel depressed. I am happily married to an amazing man, my high school sweet heart. My husband is in the military and is often gone. Recently 5 friends moved to the state we live in and lived with us for too long, almost a year to be exact. They now cut all communication with us which we honestly don't mind as they really upset us for the fact that they did not respect us or our home. Anyways I feel that my depression comes from knowing I will be alone once again. I am completely not motivated for anything. I been battling my weight for 3 years and I reach my goal but then I binge when my husband comes home from deployments and I gain the weight back. I'm often comparing myself to others. I am too trusting. I need help. I feel like I may be bipolar I am extremely happy at times and other times I just bawl my eyes out for no specific reason.. I don't know whats wrong with me, I don't know what to do.
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I am so sorry you have been going through a rough time. It is hard when a spouse is away a lot and I can't imagine what it would be like to be married to someone in the military.
Also, your friends were not very good people to do that to you. Be grateful they showed you who they are and good riddens to them. When you get rid of negative people in your life it opens the door to more positive people. Better friends will come.
I agree with adviceman and it would be a good idea to seek out therapy. It feels really good to be able to talk to an objective party about your problems.
I also think you need a purpose. One cure for depression is moving your body. Get out and do something. While your husband is away it might be good to fill your time with things that you like to do. Take some classes, play a sport or volunteer. Use your talents to help others. When you are down it feels good to put your energy outward and lift others up. You may also make some new friends in the process.
You have to find your happiness within yourself and not depend on your husband and your friends to give it to you. When in doubt always look to your higher power for help and have faith. This too shall pass...
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Check in with the family services unit at the base from which your husband deployed from or a base you live close too if you do not live near where he deployed from. I believe the military , all Branches, have programs to help with problems like you are writing about.
Being the spouse of someone in the military is not an easy live especially today with multiple deployments. The military realizes it is in the best interest of their personnel that the people left at home are taken care of and helped in many ways adjust and adapt to these deployments. They need their personnel to focus on the job at hand and not be worried about problems at home. This is the job of the family service office.
It would not be unusual for a spouse to be depressed while the wife or husband is deployed. In fact it would be strange if the spouse was not somewhat depressed. The younger the marriage the more a spouse is most likely to be depressed.
I doubt you are bipolar but it is possible. What you need to do for yourself is to schedule a visit to family services and to your doctor. Ask your doctor to screen you for depression. The doctor will want to do a full physical to rule out any organic reason for feeling as you do. The screening for depression is done while the physical is done and consists of a number of questions asked from which the doctor can make a diagnoses. Once the doctor makes a diagnoses follow the doctor's direction and ask for a therapist to speak with.
Therapy will be a big help as the therapist is that friend you can tell everything to knowing it goes no further for everything told in therapy is confidential. The therapist may even have suggestions for you to help deal with the deployments.
Once you have seen your doctor contact Family Services and see what help they can offer.
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