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Depression Aneixty
23 Female.
Back in June my boyfriend broke up with me. We were in a 5 year realtionship and it was really hard for me to adjust. I now realize i deserved a lot better. He never took care of me i was always taking care of him needless to say he didnt desreve me as a person. Which is fine i am over that but during that time i was so depressed. I also suffer from depression and aniexty but never addmited to my problems, i thought it was always normal feeling this way. My mother tried telling me i was tempoary depressed and i told her she didnt understand. 4th of July weekend i was feeling at my lowest point and i looked at my medicine cabinet wondering what i could take to kill myself. I was in the right state of mind and stopped myself. I told my sister i was planning on killing myself and she came and got me and spent the night with me. That was the moment i realized i needed help. My doctor put me on Zoloft and i was feeling like on cloud 9. August 2nd i returned my ex's things to him we had sex without a condom and he was still a complete jerk to me. I kind of saw it has break up sex it kind of helped me to be honest. I met a new guy who i was talking to and had sex with him August 26th and then August 29th. (we used a condom both times but on the 29th we hooked up in the shower but didnt have sex) 2 days after August 29th i broke out with a huge yeast infection as the week and the pain went on i was told i have Herpes.I have slept with 2 people and now i have an STD. I thought my whole world was crashing down and now nobody is going to want me. About 2 weeks ago i was drinking ALOT i was with my 2 best friends and they were both with their boyfriends and i was feeling so sad and alone. I decided to take the rest of my Zoloft pills which was about 30 to just die at that time. Basically i was in the ICU for 3 days and my parents friends and family visited me. I was about 2 hours away from home because i was visiting friends at a school my parents didnt leave my room. They tried putting me on a physc floor but i refused to go and my parents didnt want me so far away. They discharged me because i had an appotiment with my doctor. I am seeing her again this week and yet i have tried to contact a therpasist but no one has gotton back to me or are taking new patients. It is just so fustrating. I went to a therpaist about last month and i thought i wasted a whole hour of my lfie she made me feel like nothing was wrong with me. Obviously something is wrong with me when i just OD. I saw the therpaist BEFORE i OD. Im just not sure what is wrong with me right now. My syptoms get worse when i am drinking. I am now back on the Zoloft 50. My doctor told me if i find a therpaist who wants to change it they can or up my dosage. On friday i went on a party bus for my best friends birthday and i guess i made a fool out of myself telling everyone my life story about being in the ICU. My friend went off on me telling me all these things i did and it just makes me feel worse about myself. I tried talking to my other friends and they are like well shes right im surprised you talked about it either. Do i have an attention disorder? what is wrong with me? I just want to feel happy again and normal. My friend made me feel worse about myself and she knows about all these issues im going through. Needless to say she is my best friend but i just dont want to see her again because i don't want to talk about what happened on Friday. Im already embarassed enough. I am afraid if i keep on what im doing eventually no body is going to want to hang out with me. By the way, my ex guy number 1 or guy number 2 gave me an STD anybody know? Thanks for reading and letting me vent
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Herpes is one of the easiest STDS to contract as many people are carriers and never know they have the disease. It does not mean the end of the world for the infected person or then of a sex life either. Herpes is well controlled with medication and condoms properly used should block any transmission to another person.
There is one other way to meet people who will not run away when you tell them you have Herpes. Below is a link to a free dating site for people with herpes. It is just like any other dating site with one difference. You can find a match based on the type of Herpes you have HPV1 or HPV2.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I too have suffered with depression. One of the problems with Depression that I learned in therapy is it is circular in nature. Depression causes pain, pain causes depression. You have to find a way to break that circle, to do that you have to identify the triggers causing the pain. I would believe on trigger is living with an STD.
While there is no cure for herpes it is manageable with medication. Seek out a communicable disease specialist to help you with this. The best place to find one would be to call your local hospitals patient referral line and ask to be referred to one of the staff doctors.
If you are being treated for your depression by your family doctor I suggest you find a psychiatrist to medicate you. Most depression that people duffer from is "Clinical Depression." Clinical depression is caused by a lack of a chemical secreted into the brain. While this is more of a medical problem, because the chemical is secreted into the brain a Board Certified psychiatrist is the better doctor to treat you. Most family doctors have little or no training in this area while a Board Certified psychiatrist has gone through a Fellow ship and past all the criteria of the College of Psychiatrist to practice psychiatry. The psychiatrist should also be able to help you find a therapist to work with.
I went through two therapists before I found one I was comfortable with. Strange as this may sound I was more comfortable with a woman then a man. What is important though is you must be comfortable enough with your therapist to tell the therapist you deepest and darkest secrets if you are going to unlock the triggers causing the depression.
It takes time and a lot of effort on your part but I can tell you for certain. If you put the effort in there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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I'll mention the Herpes thing first. Herpes is passed on easily and a great number of people have them because the virus can be carried in a persons body after contracted without a person ever in their life having an outbreak, which seems to be the only clue to send a person to a Dr to get checked out.
Also, Herpes is not necessarily checked for in an STD screening, I had to ask for it. I'd never had an outbreak and got curious and wondered if perhaps I had it. Made sure the Dr. ran the test. It came back positive. It could have been my ex husband, or any one of a couple guys I was in dating relationship before finding my 2nd husband. Once I knew I was positive, I was honest and told guys up front in case that made a difference to them. Quite a few came forth saying they'd also been told they were carriers but had no outbreaks.
It isn't the end of the world. And there's no way to tell who you got it from, even if all men involved got tested and each is a carrier. Theres no tracing on it and thats why its passed on so easily.
About depression and anxiety, I used to have anxieties and was given certain exercises to do that cured me of it. I have found those methods listed in a self help book called When Anxieties Attack, by David D. Burns. So I am one who can say this method works. It is very complicated and being each of us is unique as individuals, I want to say that the book alone is not going to help. You'll see how complicated it can be to figure out what angle with help heal you better The book is for depression too. I am hoping that your reading it will give you hope to try for a Dr. in your area who uses the CBT method of therapy with their patients. One way you might find out is by logging on to the authors site and asking for Dr.s in your area, or where to look for them. It is www.feelinggood.com
I hope this helps you dear.
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