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Boyfriend won't walk to the door or call
I'm a 20 year old female and have started dating my first (slightly younger) boyfriend. He's kind, patient and understanding. However he's told me that he refuses to be the one to call me or go to the door when he visits, and was vague when I asked why. My boyfriend is talkative and outgoing-not a shy guy at all. He also walks outside of the sidewalk when we're together, is polite to my family (who I'm living with for now), and is affectionate. I even told him I would make sure no one but me answered the phone or door, but he still said no. I'm not his first girlfriend either. Is this something I should be concerned about? This may sound naïve coming from someone my age, though I can't help but wonder what it could mean.
Thank you for reading this~
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My Dad had a fear of using the phone and made Mom do all the important calls, yet he was outgoing, an extrovert in person and made friends easily. Some people just can't concentrate without a face to focus on or hearing a disembodied voice just messes with their mind. So I wouldn't be concerned.
Can he write you via a social site like Facebook or text, or are those issues too. If it becomes clear that he had more than just these two issues, he may have an actual phobia of some sort.
If you visit him, he is saying he won't come to the door to answer? Cus that part didnt make sense. When he comes to visit you, you say he wont come knock on the door? If so, what does he do? Wait out on the sidewalk hoping you'll be waiting at the window to see him and come meet him outside? If thats the case and he wont enter your house, how did the family get to know him to know he's polite to them. He can't be polite by just waving from the distance from the curb?
He may not have thought out in full what ever it is he is doing that has you questioning it. It could be subconscious....something born of his emotions and fears that are what make him take whatever this 'action' is. Whenever a person has anxieties or phobias, it is due to something more in their mind than something that happened to them in their past and their negative thoughts or unfounded concerns or worries cause them to subconsciously take certain actions that seem odd or weird to the average person because there is no reason to feel this way other than his thoughts. If he is not ready to want to get beyond it, then either you learn to put up with it and any other strange actions or phobias of his or if this is a deal breaker for you, then let him know and break up with him. You can't force him to get help for it. I am not talking about getting on medications. There are non medical ways to get over things like this. Next time you see him, if he has enough trust in you he might answer if you ask if he has any phobia's or anxiety issues. Then again he may just not be aware he does have any and that it isn't quite normal behavior.
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