|
am I gonna fall in love again?
Hey my name is amber and I'm 16
so I had 2 Relationships
This year the first one was amazing he made me believe that he'll be my future husband and we even had planes for our future together but no everything crushed and we broke up it hit me really bad i was hurt so I started to talk to other boys a week later even tho i still loved him i wanted to forget about him and move on so a month and couple days later I had a new boyfriend that I didn't really loved I used him to forget about my ex even tho I understand now that my heart was not ready for someone new but with the time passing I learned to love him. a month and a half later I broke up with him cause he always disappeared and come back 3 days later like nothing happened. And now 4 months later I feel like I can't trust guys anymore I'm sick of getting my heart breaking over and over again I'm starting to think that all the boys are the same and that I prefer to be single forever. y'all think that I'll start to trust guys again and fall in love?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This may not apply to you but I will mention it just in case as it seems to be something that plagues most teens. I was the same at that age, more worried a bout what others thought, plus I had social anxieties and low self esteem and what meant the most was having some true friends...which I had and that helped me to go on. However for some girls, having girlfriends is not enough for them to feel valid and worthwhile as a human being, especially as a young female growing into her femininity, and wanting to know that she is accepted in her own rights as a much desired female. For some, the need is so great that they feel incomplete if they are not dating a guy. And finding a guy, just any guy, whether they are a good guy or the right one for you is more important than anything to feel loved and accepted. I understand you dating another to want to get over the first. I am sorry for that break up but in life, we all face handfuls of breakups at the very least. From jr high to graduating HS, most go through many relationships. They all tend to not last long at this age for many reasons, and some are due to things you can't change at the moment, the naiveness, and immaturity of age and lack of life knowledge yet gathered on dating because you're not old enough to have 10 years background of dating or more yet. So break ups come with the territory. Also, girls find guys their age to be immature and lots of guys don't grow up and figure out what they want until late 20s or so. I know that doesnt help how you are feeling right now but during HS, I feel that relationships should be more about trying out things and practicing, getting used to what works and what doesn't and not to take relationships too seriously. Even in college guys may not be ready yet for a serious relationship. Guys at 16 are more interested in sex than in finding a long lasting and healthy rewarding relationship...thats just the way it is. That doesnt mean that you could find one or two that may be mature and be looking for that now.
Yes, you'll fall in love someday. Or rather, I'll say, come to love another. Loving someone and being in love are 2 separate things to me. I was married to a guy who said he loved me. Well, he loved many nice things about me. However he admitted to a psychologist that he was never in love with me. That commitment is one where the heart is forever tied to the other, caring about how they feel, good emotions or sad and wanting to do what helps them best, be their strength when they are feeling down, driven to seek to please the other first and make them happy, slow to anger and quick to apologize, and enjoy being together so much you cant stand being apart and no other can make you want to desire them and steal you or your partner away because you are so unique inside and out that neither will easily find another just so right for each other.
In HS, no one is looking for that yet, truly. Senior projects are on the mind, going to college or straight to work, what job to do, field to work in, get self a car, own place to live, etc....Thats stuff of the future that is really important in the minds of many teens. Having someone to date is more of a way to pass the time until graduation and moving on to whatever.So you will love again. In HS, I can't say but someday you will love again. Is more of learning patience and doing all you can in the meanwhile to learn the dating do's and don'ts for girls easily found on you tube videos, and also tips for dating, how to talk to guys, how to understand guys. A famous older book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus goes over those unique differences and it is important to know as those differences are often what cause trouble in relationships if the two don't understand them. Study up on relationships now instead of trying to get one. Its like just hopping into a car without studying traffic rules and just expecting a drive to go smoothly when you dont even know half of what it takes to operate a car let alone the rules. Study now and when you graduate, you can seriously start looking for relationships with what you know.
]
More Questions: |