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kissing and not feeling anything?
is it normal for a girl not feel anything when kissing.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am assuming we are talking 'romantic kissing' here? However, what I am not clear on is whether you are a girl and have kissed a guy and feel nothing or whether you are the guy and have kissed a girl but she seems to not respond or has said she felt nothing.
My answers will apply to both situations. In some cases, love is not an instant flash of hot desire and fire and starts as a small ember that slowly continues to grow to the point you have a blazing fire. If two people are best of friends and one starts to have feelings for the other, but the other has no romantic feelings, just like a sis or bro instead, then one cannot expect to have a response to the kiss feeling anything like desire, bliss, happiness, romance, love. If both are developing romantic feelings and are best of friends, and kiss to check out that avenue, perhaps, it can feel awkward or one is scared of losing their best friend if the romance part doesnt work out and so one or both are feeling kind of tense, not relaxed, then I can see how a person might not feel anything from a kiss, even though they have feelings for the person.
Humans are emotional creatures and when something weighs heavy on our minds, a negative emotion can be heavily in play, such as fear, frustration, disappointment, sadness, anger, etc... and that can easily cancel out any romantic feelings from a kiss.
And then there is something called chemistry or what I also refer to as pheremone connections. The animal kingdom relies often on pheremones to draw a mate to reproduce. Humans have their own pheremones too. But human pheremones vary enough so that not every person is going to incite the same level of desire and passion in you nor will you be able to incite that kind of passion in all either. Sometimes, the excitement of a new relationship can mimic a good pheremone match, and two people feel something terrific when kissing. But over time, usually weeks but a couple months too, the 'new relationship energy' will fade and there are no such feelings left. This confuses people who thought they felt something at first and later feel nothing when kissing or anything else.
I was once married to a guy I had no pheremone connection to. I was naive, 20 when I married and had no idea that if I felt nothing, that something was wrong, or at the very least I should wait to see if anything changes, but I married him right away. It was a mistake. Nothing changed as I well understand why now.
If you still have unanswered questions, perhaps you could write more of your situation to give us an idea of whats going on and I may be better able to answer you.
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It is not really abnormal and it also depends on your age. Sometime very young girls, say preteens are more in love with the thought of being in love than actually being in love and work to hard at it.
My advice if the above sounds like you or your girlfriend relax. Girls like a fine wine get better with age.
FYI: It will help us give you better answers if you include your age and sex, especially for questions like this and any questions of a sexual nature. For questions like these your age plays a big part in what you feel and how you respond as puberty is a big part of a teens life. Some teens are late bloomers and do not start puberty until they are well into their teens.
We can explain all this if we have the information to do so. This site is totally anonymous and confidential. No one will ever know who you are so you can feel comfortable asking us questions and giving us the information to answer you properly knowing it goes no will ever know who you are.
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