|
Coming out?
Ok I'm a 12 year old female. I'm very sure of my sexuality. Ever since I was young I always knew I was attracted to girls. I knew somehow I was different from my peers. For one thing I was always that tomboy who dug up worms and wore her hat backwards tightened and liked sports. Even now I'm always the one to kill the spider at sleepovers. I know that's just a stereotype, but still. Every time I'd dress like a princess when i was 5 I'd imagine dancing with another girl rather than a boy. Sometimes the kids in my school would hide in the bathroom and play "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" games. I wasn't interested in what a dick looked like at all. What I'd mainly do is strip the barbies and try to feel what a boob was like. I was really more interested in adult females body parts. Of course I knew that would be bad and my parents explained to me "good touch bad touch" so I stuck with the dolls. I acted out relationships with the barbies, I saw no need for ken dolls. Now then, my parents are catholic. I ditched that stuff a while ago, I was never convinced by it either. I believe in nothing in particular. I believe in a life after this and ghosts (pretty fascinated by the paranormal) but no "creator" my mom is definitely homophobic, she covers it with "I'll accept you tell me anything" but it's obvious. My dad however has demonstrated his homophobia. For example he was playing Queen and I guess Freddy Mercury was homosexual because he said,"Freddie was a great man. His lifestyle killed him. He could've made so much more songs if he didn't choose to be gay." And the way I found out about LGBT is that when I was in 1st grade me and my dad were watching a movie. In the movie was a lesbian couple. I asked why two girls were getting married. He started explaining it, I was relieved I was sort of kind of normal, but he said it in such a conservative way. And the rest of the kids? I could name 1 girl who isn't a conservative extremist and a group of boys have already been teasing me because they think I'm lesbian. My friends I know would stay by me but idk i really want to come out but I don't know if I should?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Scientist have said for years that they believed people or born as Lesbians or Gays. They have also said as you have written that people will know almost from birth that they are different from others like them. So I do not find it unusual that you are confident in your sexuality at such an early age.
What I would suggest is for now you keep this to yourself and as the saying goes stay in the closet. To announce your are a Lesbian will be something your friends and schoolmates will not understand. In fact you will probably encounter many homophobes in school and you could be seriously physically harmed.
There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, this is the way you were born and you should embrace it. The problem comes in from others including your parent and how accepting they will be once you do tell them. When you do, your parents especially if not supportive or believing in the rights of Homosexuals, be prepared to educate them.
To do this you may need to educate yourself. While you may be sure of your sexuality you might have some questions as to why. The LGBT community has numerous support groups to help answer questions on a variety of subjects concerning homosexuality and the life style. How you can avoid or should handle the problems and pitfalls you can run into.
What I suggest is that you use a search engine to find an LGBT support group in your community. Contact them and find meetings you can go to make friends and receive support while you wait for the right time to come out.
No matter how sure you are in your sexuality now is not the right time to pin a label on yourself to say you are gay. This label will only cause you harm for we do not live in a fully enlightened society.
]
I'd have to say that you are the exception to the rule. Generally, until puberty hits and hormones start flowing, a child can't know yet what sex they are attracted to sexually because their bodies aren't changing sexually yet.
From toddlerhood on, a child can know if they are transgender though. You being female, as a transgender would have always wanted to dress as a boy and play with boys toys and dig for worms like most boys and it would have disturbed you to have to carry on the part of being female.
So the real question here that only you can answer is whether you enjoy being a female and are attracted to females, or whether you feel like a make inside and are attracted to females.
It might help you to go online to support groups for transgender folk or LGBT support groups and start talking to the people and share how you feel and see if anyone else out there identifies the same way and what they are.
A couple of clues from what I have studied, if that a transgender who is male inside but female outside begins to seriously hate the fact that breasts start growing and dread having and hate periods. So if you decide that you are attracted to females but feel transgender inside, the sooner you can get support and help, the better.
These support groups might be the best place to ask others of all ages how they came out to family, and how to handle family that aren't accepting and supportive. Hope this helps you. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |