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What should I do when I know they guy I'm dating will be moving soon?
Long story short, I just started dating somebody two weeks ago. He's 24 (I just turned 21) and he's in his last year of med school. He's applying for residencies all over the country and I know that it's quite possible he'll get a job in another state. I'm also currently in college for a related medical degree, but I just started. Tonight I went over to his house and we watched a movie in his room and I didn't think anything would happen, but we wound up kissing a lot and borderline making out (though not french kissing) several times while laying together. I decided to leave before things got any farther but he seemed disappointed and I know that means he's probably going to want more on later dates and I don't know if I'm comfortable with that if he's going to leave me behind when he moves.
I'm really afraid that I'm going to fall for him and then he's going to get a job in a hospital that he can't pass up and he's going to leave. I don't want to waste my time and get committed into a relationship if it's going to be doomed from the start, but I also don't want to ruin things by trying to push the issue so soon.
I'm not even really sure what he's looking for, I just know we get along really well and that I feel more comfortable with him than I have with any other guy I've dated in the past.
What should I do?
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What do you want more at this point in life...to find your life partner or to finish med. school?
If you chose life partner, just because a guy is dating you and wants to kiss and have sex does not always translate into them looking for the love of make the commitment to you and settle down right now. Yes, I know two people can be married and going thru school at the same time but this is more about just wanting a social companion or wanting a wife right now. If the guy loves a lot of things about you, thats fine for just dating, but you need a guy who is inlove with you before you can think about making the kind of changes to remain together.
So he would have to have decided that he can't live without you (having sex with you isn't gonna necessarily change that) and want to talk about your mutual future together and how to work that out cus that isn't something to leave to talk about at the last minute and takes some serious changes.
Females tend to equate sex with falling in love, but for many guys its totally different, their bodies are made to react to a beautiful woman around them and its a biological response (not a heart response) to want to have sex. If two people are in love, then sex together is a natural outpouring of their love together and thats when the expression 'making love' fits. You are right that your heart may fall for him if you become sexual together. Even if you do, are you willing to enjoy him for now and face heart break later if he didn't feel the same and want you in his life in the future? You have to think several steps ahead and try to see down the road, possilbe outcomes, scenerio's and of course the consequences to your choices. Only then can you make any decision in full awareness and know you can live with the outcome or not.
Considering that you are only 2 weeks together, I highly doubt he's developed any deep interest in you yet if he ever will. What you might want to do is write down all the things that are most important to you right now and be sure to discuss those things early on with a guy you start dating.
Think on this, are you willing to wait 4 years of schooling before you seriously start looking for a relationship? You have fears of what might happen if you fall in love, but thats not necessarily going to happen. Don't fortune tell your future as you dont know if both o f you will fall in love or whether if you do, that you won't be able to compromise. Finding love has its risks but I beleive its worth taking the risk for.
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